Some would think I wear my heart and thoughts, views, feeling on my sleeve too much and might find it overwhelming, that’s fine with me, so long as they get the hell over it fast, grow the hell up and “man up” so to speak.
There is a phrase in Italian, “noncuranza”, equivalent to the British, “don’t give a toss” and for us here in the U.S. “could care less” and I have experienced this with two connections in my life that were strong, even on a psychic level, were greatly inspiring to me as an artist, but as was pointed out to me by a dear friend who is like a sister, I deserve better. One of those connections, a past one, circumstances and our immaturity played a part in it, and I believe we would not treat each other now with that noncuranza. If one sees a pattern very early on of this, of the person being dismissive, whether it’s in public, online, if there is a pattern, don’t keep banging your head against the wall. I have wonderful connections I have made online, offline, in life and one of the things that has made them wonderful is that there was never any noncuranza, dismissiveness or anything like that. This i snot just for personal relationships, this is also for any relationship situation. If a person shows noncuranza, being dismissive to you, he is likely showing it to himself in not standing up for himself, and to others in life etc… If the person won’t engage with you in any significant way, even if you disagree, even if intimidated, if they won’t get the hell over it, and be willing to engage with you on a myriad of levels, really open the heart, spirit, soul, not to be a pushover or anything, but to engage with you and you with them, acknowledge each other, what you contribute, inspire etc…, then they won’t do it with anyone and much less with themselves to grow as a person etc… In friendship, in any connection, for it to grow, one thing that is never an option is NONCURANZA or anything even remotely similar to that, and I it doesn’t matter what is going on in your life, if someone has connected deeply to you and you to them, you have any interest in building that bond up that is never an option.
What do you do when someone shows that noncuranza etc..? If you have been trying to cultivate a relationship, even a strong friendship and the other person has acted this way, it is a pattern, cut the cord, don’t give them the chance to keep doing it. What will happen whether it is a friendship or other type of relationship is that you will begin to feel lousy about yourself, wonder what you did wrong, when you did nothing wrong, other than reach out in friendship, in truth and sincerely. If it’s a work situation, you might want to see a career counselor to see how to manage it best, or a career coach, which I would likely prefer myself. Point is that that attitude etc.. of noncuranza and all that is unacceptable and shows blatant disrespect, and some might say lack of breeding on the other person’s end. Whatever you do, don’t ever accept being treated with noncuranze, don’t give a toss, could care less, not worth even a second of acknowledgement etc.., never allow anyone to treat you in that manner. As soon as you see that pattern in a friend or even a romantic, or creative partnership, walk away. Make it clear you will not be treated that way, you deserve much better than that and will not accept anything less. Stand tall, and stand up for yourself, don’t need to be mean or nasty to them, you can do it gracefully, but never let anyone dismiss you or anything like that in a friendship, relationship or as you try to build one up, walk away.
Namste, Shalom and Amen.