Drawn to One, Still Embracing the Other?

Today being a Sabbath today I am going to muse on something related to such a day.  I was raised Catholic, but I keep being drawn to Judaism, it’s like a magnetic pull, yet I also accept Jesus as Messiah, having a Messiah role, but wait, what?  Confusing? Yes and no.  

I have thought about this.  He grew up quite observant, studies in the temples was very Jewish in that he spent hours, even those days he got “lost” and gave his parents a near heart attack, debating the Rabbis, learning, questioning, a very Jewish thing to do.  I have thought about a few things he said, such as desiring mercy not sacrifice, healing even on the Sabbath, how truth would set the people free, and constantly clarifying the “Law”.  I thought about how you wouldn’t allow yourself to be put through all that hell unless you truly felt you had a mission, a calling to fulfill.  I know that according to Jewish tradition and belief He did not fulfill the prophecies not as they understood them, that’s fine, their choice.  I thought, well what was His calling as A Messiah? It seems to me that His calling was to get people from a purely academic, in your head, legalistic place to a more clarified, defined in the law, but also in your heart kind of place.  Basically two things were going on, applying certain aspects of the law only as it suited them and when it suited them, interpreted to suit them etc… and being so legalistic in certain ways that it marginalized those who most needed spiritual healing and care so they could move away from their sin.  Seems to me His Messianic Calling was not to rally some army or anything like that, or be some great politician to free an nation, but rather to empower the  people to kick tukus from within themselves, from within the stronghold of Jewish life, the synagogue.  Granted it resulted sadly in a split, but as far as He understood His calling and mission, He did what He was supposed to do, what He felt He was supposed to do.  

What do I do with this embrace of mine of Yeshua as Messiah from legalism to the heart and my being drawn to Judaism?  I guess the progressive synaogue near my home, which is very open to interfaith couples etc… would say, make the journey through it in prayer, and with the support of the community, let Jewish life guide you through this journey, this paradox to some form of reconciliation, resolution.  Christianity seeks to but things in a box, in very clear definition, clear contours and agreement,  even God.  Judaism, not so much and maybe that is why I am drawn to it.  The journey to Judaism and reconciling that with my full embrace of Yeshua as A Messiah continues.  

Namaste, Shalom and Amen