Connected to boundaries and discerning all of that is gaining emotional intelligence and they come in four areas. Self is of course where to start, but can be one of the most difficult journeys to make. We first need to know our life truth, even if it is uncomfortable or difficult to face because without understanding that, moving forward in a healthy way won’t really work. We also have to reconcile with what was, even if what was has us going “what was I thinking?” “How did I get myself into such a mess?” or has painful stuff to it, abandonment, abuse. Reconciling with it, not saying we have to have people who did us wrong as part of your life, but having that moment of forgiveness for self, for the other person, not for them, but for you, to lift the load is a very important beginning on the journey of healthy heart, spirit and soul. It’s also important to be a tree with good roots planted in the ground and know what your beliefs, values, patterns are both positive and maybe not so positive, and no one really wants to admit having not so positive patterns etc.. If we are going to change and grow we need to acknowledge that, not obsess, never obsess over the past or anything, never good. Patterns include relationships, so are we runners, or do we tend to move too fast without really thinking, end up with egg on our face? Things like that might be going on, or maybe we set such high expectations, and on purpose, that no one can meet them and then we say that all men are this or all women are that. We convince ourselves “there is no one out there for me, doomed to be alone forever”. We all have patterns and understanding that is a good way to discern maybe even what our current values, even what, our character is. I personally like to discern through meditation, prayer and reading not just scripture, but also some good psychology and philosophy. I hope that we all can make this journey to become emotionally aware and grow as a person.
Namaste, Shalom, and Amen