My reality now in my 50’s is one I am not too pleased with since the core of who I am etc… was not fully realized. I always knew I was called to ministry, as well as the creative, arts. What I never did was understand that God wanted to reach people to connect to Him and Christian truths through the arts. I threw pebbles in the lake in every direction and so I didn’t have a concrete path that I followed, no life plan really, not even a skeleton of one. My life has been a zig-zag because I never really took the time to really ask God, to really commune with God, etc… to really understand what the Lord wanted for my life, my path, etc.. Now I do know, to be an artist in the Sacred Arts, and to write. For most of life, I was going in circles and that goes for my personal life. I wanted a life partner, but I was so scared I could never be enough in someone’s life, that I would screw up, etc.. that I didn’t open myself up to love really, not the right love, one God would say “well done’ to. Does it get me down at times, hell yeah, of course, it does? Still, I won’t allow myself to stay there because I have a whole new book of my life to write.
In a sense, I am now starting from scratch, with tithing, with my path, with all of it. This time around, I have a strong community of people that I can reach out to for guidance, true bible, and Holy Spirit guidance. Focus is important, not saying make the life plan so rigid, no room for improvement, etc.., but really if one can discern early on what God wants for one’s life, and work with that, life won’t become one big blur later on. May we find focus in this troubling time and commune with the Holy Trinity to find the truth of our path.