Health Boundaries 9 and 10

Relationships can be a number of things but often will fall into one of two categories health or toxic/unhealthy.  The key is figuring out which of the two they fall into and that can include family, much as we may love them.  Relationships should help us to grow in our gifts, talents, our discernment, understanding of self, of life, the world, in a way that is positive, constructive, healthy, not hurtful, painful constantly.  Relationships shouldn’t be one continuous struggle and harsh teaching experience, painful learning curve all the time.  Sure like life, you have your ups and downs, some disagreements, you grow and learn from them.  If the relationship doesn’t help you to find the best in you, your gifts, talents, and if it is honest, and the person is honest in sharing, if they don’t just always say what you want to hear, it’s a healthy relationship in general.  These are some things to look at in terms of how they are treating you and you are treating them.  If the relationship is mutually a healthy one, productive one then kudos, amen and long may it live.  The next one is also important because some people are impulsive by nature, spend impulsively, speak impulsively, no filter etc.., and that no filter can include sex.  Rather than discern if the situation, relationship etc.. is a healthy one, safe one, they just jump right in with the impulse of the moment the raw lust and feeling of the moment, no thought to any potential consequence to themselves or even to the other person.  That denotes a certain level of immaturity, of not caring about self and others.  It’s important to learn a certain level of discipline.  My hope is to begin doing live mindfulness and meditation sessions in April, to help focus the emotions and make clear choices and decision.  Be aware that impulsive patterns and that there are consequences, and they can be deadly ones.  This awareness and acting accordingly is a sign of healthy boundaries and maturity. 


Namaste, Shalom and Amen