Healthy Relationships -Accountability

Published by kappello on

One of the aspects of a healthy relationship, whether personal or career wise is accountability.  What does that mean to be accountable in a relationship?  It means admitting mistakes when wrong, not deflecting or making a bunch of excuses, admitting mistakes and accepting responsibility.  Not to say you totally beat up the person emotionally or yourself for all eternity, but you own up to having messed up, truly understand the ramifications, discomfort etc.. caused by your actions.  If you are on the receiving end, well that means forgiving, finding a way to move through and beyond it when possible and if not walk away without hate, without bitterness.  It’s about accepting that your actions are your actions etc… and you only have control over that, not the other person’s.  There is a difference between a relationship where the persons act with accountability vs those where the persons involved act with constant victim hood, not to say there are situations that are really rough and you need to walk away, but here I am referring to a day to day mindset.

There is a loop for most attitudes etc… and here you can see the loop for intention regarding accountability and victim.  The accountable person in a relationship self examines, learns, recognizes, owns it and forgives.  The victim mentality person does the opposite, and if you have two people in a relationship with that victim mentality, well toxic 2.0, look out.  Accountability is important, it’s a healthy thing, not the other person nagging, manipulating etc.., no.  It is personally being mature enough to own our actions, reactions etc, no blarney, or excuses.  It’s loving others enough to see that they are mature enough. 

Namaste, Shalom and Amen


Born in New Jersey, August 1965, this Italian-American has always had a great interest in music, particularly the Oldies, Country and Ethnic music, including Irish. For over 10 years Ms. Appello passionately taught ESL to students of varying ages. Grounded if her faith and spirituality, Katherine endured a range of issues, including a great deal of pain, which was finally diagnosed to be associated with Fibromyalgia. The essence and the power of music, of words, allow Katherine to overcome these struggles each and every time. We are all blessed to have Katherine’s strength, wisdom, and words to write “Pray For Me Tonight’