Holding On To The Lost?
This song is a familiar scenario and as I thought about it, I thought about shades of the apocalypse we sometimes feel in our lives whether it’s a relationship or even as regards life in general, playing roles that are not ours to play. I thought about what I have seen in terms of dead relationships that people desperately try to hold on to, dead careers, vocations they are living that are not authentic to them, my own Fibromyalgia crisis journey that led me to where I am, to my authentic self and this video is one that really resonates with me in that regard of holding on vs letting go when one ought to let go. What does an apocalypse look like and getting up from out of the ashes?
First thing you generally have is a revolution, a crisis, something that brings you to the break point and even maybe those around you. For some it is a literal breakdown, . The revolution will look different for different people, but it will turn your life inside out, upside down, make it clear life as is, relationships as they are can no longer continue. It is not something easily accepted. One may fight it, which I did when the Fibromyalgia hit hard and I could not teach any longer. I would not accept initially that a whole chapter of my life was over and other plans had not worked out as I thought they ought to. I was trying to be what I thought the definition of success was according to others, to society. Even ministry that God had put in my heart, I though I had understood what it was, but again I was going by a very strict literal in a little box definition of things. I have since learned to not be so literal. That revolution and having to adjust my life to the Fibromyalgia, was a turning point. It was not an easy one and there was lots of anger, fear, lots of pain on many levels and many tears. The revolution is the first stage of the apocalypse.
Then you may have a sense of paralysis. Fear and anxiety may take over, all the what ifs come at ya. Giving up any security blankets scares you, and all that jazz. You are used to a certain way of life, people etc.. and suddenly it’s all going to change, has changed, has to change, for your own well being and maybe that of those around you. You may get it on an intellectual level, but still can be hard to digest and fully move forward with, whether it is ending a relationship, whatever.
Once the paralysis is overcome, you have revelation of what your truth is, you start on that path of what your authentic self and truth is. You may realize which relationships work, don’t work etc…, your true path and vocations, so much, which can initially be overwhelming.hopefully you have people who believe in you, encourage you, you move forward. I was lucky that I had my friend Kim, and others around me who did, helped me get on my path to the arts, to my true calling as an artist and writer. It has still been rocky, and there are still times of some anxiety, but as I get more and more outside the box, the truth of my path, of self gets clearer, that anxiety is less and less. Taking action is crucial and doing so with confidence, prayerful meditation and confidence, letting go of what you have to let go of and embracing the new as you know you have to for your life to be one of joy and all things amazing.
I am not saying this process is an easy one to go through, but whatever the apocalypse, now that there is light at the end of the tunnel, but one has to be willing to let to of stuff, even if others around, even near and dear do not accept it in the beginning. Life is a journey and there are going to be tough choices to make if we want to have a joyful fulfilled life, true to our heart of hearts etc… With prayerful meditation, and if we have those who believe in us that we can take their hand, it will be fine, more than fine.
Namaste, Shalom and Amen