Love-How Do I Know It?
Love, Love, Love, Actually, Really, Yeah?
In my mother’s generation movies showed love as this very fluffy romantic cotton candy kind of thing. There was lots of music, singing, dancing and fluff, but not a lot of reality, and life has made me realize that love does have, can have a lot of cotton candy moments and should have those every day.
However, you have to be willing to take the thorns along with the cotton candy moments, at least in some cases in making the journey to be together. I reflect that experience in some of my poems and in thinking about song I heard grown up and in my own life and two of them really stick with me about my own experience in having found the love of my life and the journey to be with this person. One of them is: “You Don’t Know Love” -Janie Frickie and “The Rose” -Bette Midler
The first one reflects the journey gone through to get to this point and boy have we been turned inside out, chilled to the bone etc… etc… etc…, but the connection has not died, even with absence, only grown stronger and when we reconnected, it was like we had never been apart. Do I wish we had not had to make such a gut wrenching journey, in a way yes, but it was a catalyst for growth for both of us I think and tested the mettle of the connection to show how epic it is, how it can’t be broken or undone. I knew the moment we spoke, intuitively this was going to be a connection that was going to affect my life in a big way, this was the one for me, my destiny. I just knew, yet being deeply spiritual and raised Catholic, being firm in the belief that the Bible is God’s truth, the connection so powerful so instant, and my heart, spirit, and soul certainty that he was the one made no sense and was so overwhelming, because of circumstances I wont get into here, I didn’t know what to do with it. It was frightening, so I poured it all into the arts, into poetry and song, prayer. It did turn my life inside out, upside down etc.. and his, we parted ways, but the connection was too strong and now we are getting right this time.
The second one reflects what I realized about life and love, that when you have a calling, a dream a vocation to something such as the arts for example and others may not get it or you love someone and it may not make sense, don’t just run away. Doesn’t mean jump right into it, pray, ask for guidance, but don’t let fear guide how you handle it, how you make the journey. You can’t put yourself in a cocoon and not live, not love, just accept safe, the status quo, even staying in a miserable relationship when a true and joyful love awaits you. That’s not healthy. The arts can be a great catalyst for reflection and I know for me often music is, as well as for kicking my tukkus and making me see where I need to step back and not be too impulsive, be more patient with life, love and people who love me. I also know that having found this deep and profound connection, rather them having found me again, come back to me, I will do all I can, prayerfully, to make it work.