We are made to seek community, companionship, love, acceptance etc… and we want that special something in our lives, that lifetime safety net of love etc.. that will be there through thick and thin. I suppose I forgot to do something really important, create community, build moments of saying to love in any form “welcome, make yourself comfortable, even if just for a while”. I guess when you get the rug taken out from under you as a kid, when the safety is shaken you are afraid to let yourself really open up for even a little while and when you do and you do to one you should never have gotten involved with because it was a violation of God’s commands and would end badly, that scar might mean a wall goes up. Add a chronic health issue to the mix, that restricts and isolates, so this poem when I saw it became relevant. I have to make a choice about how I want to live the rest of my life.
Yes Fibromyalgia creates restriction, but I need to do something differently and the first step is tightening my budget, figuring out how to bring in some supplementary income, sign up with the small gym that has licensed rehab specialists to create a program specialized for me. I need to get to a better place health wise. I need to get active in creating a spiritual community based on what I feel in my heart and come together with like minded people. I need to start living the way this poem speaks, time to make changes, no matter what hurts of the past, they need to be in the past.