People Aren’t Homes

If I look back and look at my life, lack of a life partner, I have to look at a few things as to why that lack of a life partner to share it all with long term, lack of  healthy union long term with that special someone.  This poem is a good start. 

My dad left when I was six, my life when I was a kid for that reason and moving around, including to Argentina, then New York, my childhood friends not being always the best of friends, add to my mom constantly reminding me how unreliable men were, people were and this poem fits one of the reasons why I had emotional etc… walls up.  Then there was the self esteem issue growing up, see I had dyslexia and stuff like that going on, in addition to the baggage of abandonment so I did not attract the healthiest of relationships.  I should have realized all this a lot sooner and realized that my vocation was that of artistic minister and spiritual coach, realized, appreciated the fullness of my gifts, better relationship choices could have been attracted into my life and made.  It’s true that not every connections is meant to be life long, some are here for a short time, even the great ones, but if we are carrying a lot of baggage, distrust of others etc..if this poem is the core of what we believe about all relationships, that there can be no lasting anything, then we will only attract toxic, temporary, as our walls will repel anything positive, healthy from coming in.  I hope that with this understood, clear picture of who I am, I can attract the right relationships, friendship and otherwise.  I do have to say I do have one or two really great friends in my life, a few really great people, FB connections I have had for a very long time.  I hope that I can now bring into my life off line relationships that are awesome.