Quality or Quantity? That is the Question
Social Media is very interesting including Meet Up in terms of quality of life and relationships. I see people I know with hundreds of “friends” and followers, even meet up groups, including ones I joined, never really participated in, joined with the thought of keeping myself busy, and it struck me.
Quality or Quantity, which is it going to be. In my case quantity. I have very few friends one is someone who has gone back to her native Cyprus that I worked with and we are like sisters, and another is someone who I consider family and he even has me listed on his FB family tree as his aunt, he is in the UK and we are truly like family and tell each other everything. I have another dear friend that we have been friends for over 30 years. I hope to develop a few more friendships, but not looking to have loads of friends that are just for the sake of having a bunch of people in my life or knowing a bunch of people. I prefer a small circle of people that are family and we stick together like glue, create together, share a lot together, check out awesome events together. With vocation, activities, as with relationship, it’s about quality, and focus, not quantity. Lots of activity, interests, people in one’s life quantity, but is that quality? What is quality in terms of relationship, what do I mean by quality not quantity in terms of people? Relationships should be about investing in each other, in relationships that you really want to give each other wings to fly, to be each other’s inspiration, revel in each other’s energy, not suck it dry, but revel in it, be recharged by it, be able to share with the other person what is in your heart, spirit and soul comfortably, know you will be able to get there and create great stuff in your life, grow as a person, be challenged to grow and fulfill your potential. Relationships need to be nurtured, so quantity does not allow for that, which is why when I think of relationships in my life for the foreseeable future, I am thinking one really solid key creative partnership, friendship etc… and then a few key core friendships that are as I previously described, where we always have each other’s back, encourage each other, really nurture the relationship. If there is an event going on, we might call each other up, even spur of the moment, or send a FB message saying, if we want to meet up. Even spontaneously get together, jam on some music, poetry, writing a scene based on a bible psalm, or a poem. I am not interested in having a whole bunch of “friends” and acquaintances in my life, not interested in quantity. I am interested in very talented, very a focused quality group of people and also love the very few, count on my hand friends, family I already have. Any new people in my life, those relationships need to be nurtured and I am not going to be banging my head against the wall trying to be the only one doing the nurturing, the reaching out etc.., a two way street. Even on the professional level, which has to have a strong friendship bases, especially in the creative field I am not going to be the one I have determined to do all the foundation building for the partnership, relationship, friendship, no way! Has to be a two way street. When networking, when nurturing any particular relationship, quality, that includes the quality of the time, the events, everything, quality. Even for ourselves, we need to learn to declutter, let go of what we need to let of go, toxic cords, situations, people, all of that, toxic patterns we engage in ourselves, such as taking on maybe a whole bunch of stuff to run away from things, anything like that, has to go. If we want quality relationships, quality people, then we have to get a quality life, a very focused life. My mom is in her 90’s and she raised me on her own, it was tough with the language barrier, so of course I want to do her proud, honor her. I could do some grand gesture when she passes, set up some endowment with the church, something like that, clutter my life with that, but that is not necessary, not really what society needs, another endowment, or another something to give money to. Again, quality or quantity? there are so many endowments, NFP and charity entities out there, it’s a headache to even try and keep up with how many. How would my adding another help any, no. I am a member of the Sons and Daughters of Italy, Petrosino Lodge, they do fundraising for Alzheimers, different charities, so I can honor her that way. Quantity or quality is always a good question to ask and I hope when we do we go for quality, not quantity.