As a parent there are certain truths we must teach our kids, but also ones we must first learn ourselves and we may not always like these truths, but we must learn them, and so I want to go through them and touch on them, especially in today’s entitlement, snowflake and intolerant culture amongst our youth and academia.
Let’s start with the first two and I wish society would also teach these lessons and schools as well, the work place also because there are important ones, but first they have to be taught at home. Bad behavior, disrespect of self and others is not okay, and yes we want to understand the motive behind it, but we don’t give it a stamp of approval, say it’s okay, dismiss it, ignore it continually and hope it just fixes itself. Then there is the word NO, not one we like to hear, but an important one to assimilate because sometimes NO is the most important word we will hear for our own good and the good of society. It’s important kids learn to hear it, and understand why NO is sometimes NO, has to be NO. Stick with it, NO is NO! Choce, yes the freedom to choose, we are free to choose, to make the decisions we make, and often teens, even young adults will point out that they are not kids anymore, they can make their own decisions. Great, okay, no argument, but if you are going to be fully empowered to make all decisions, then you also have to take full responsibility, good, uncomfortable, bad and ugly for the consequences related to those decisions. Divorce is for example never a fun journey, and if one makes that decision and sometimes it’s necessary, for everyone’s well being and happiness, literally, there are going to be consequences economic and emotional. If one makes decisions as a parent, a spouse those decisions affect the family, including the kids and that is something that kids need to understand that every decision has consequence, being an adult, making decisions also means you have to own up to the consequences of those decisions, but they have to learn that from the parents, the adults in their lives by example. The handling of those consequences also has to be by example. Often when stuff happens, even consequences due to one’s own stupidity frankly and I can vouch for this, we get into the life is not fair mode of thinking. I only had that notion once or twice in life, and briefly, but it’s a natural human tendency. It’s important to let kids know, life is not about fair, it’s about the journey, about decisions, choices and a combination of some things are within your control through choice and decision, others are not, what it comes down to is how you navigate all of it. It comes down to what choices and decisions do you make, and how you navigate what happens once you have made them. Part of why we have the not fair attitude is that we can think we own the world and the world owes us, life owes us, God owes us, and the world revolves around us, when frankly NO, NO and NO, and HELL NO! sooner a child is taught this, not in a harsh and nasty way, but taught that no you are not the boss, the world does not revolve around you, the better. Yes, we are each of us gifted with talents etc.. that can contribute to this world, and we should make full use of our potential, but the world does not revolve around us, nor do we own the world, nor are we owed anything by the universe, society, God or anyone. If we can help one another to soar with our gifts, talents etc.. we should, awesome. Nothing wrong with that. As far as being owed anything, life being fair, NO, NO and NO. I will go through the other five tomorrow. Meanwhile, have a pondering on these and have a great weekend.
Namaste, Shalom and Amen!