I find myself in a situation where I had to react, felt I had to react and perhaps push a bit to try to know what was happening, prior to that with the Holy Spirit giving me a vision of what was needed I felt the need to react, to do all I could to follow the Holy Spirit and share that vision and save the institution, one that represents my culture, heritage through the faith heritage.
In that I got too caught up, stressed myself and I forgot to stay centered in my Christ Consciousness and core faith journey. Not that I don’t care what happens to the church, I do. I want to see it saved and thriving, to be a thriving example of a traditionalist Roman Catholic church, and yes I know this Pope hates traditionalists and Conservatives, but I hope this parish I had hoped I could help flourish does get to that point. I also realize that I have to accept the persons there as they are, but accepting them as they are does not mean I have work with them. It does not mean I have to be part of that faith institution. I can wish it well, pray for it, but I have to respond in a way that is healthy for me, and I have to respond in Christ Consciousness, meaning what would Christ tell me to do, in what way would Christ respond or indicate to me to respond? I can’t change the people I would be trying to collaborate with, that I have to accept. Standing in Christ consciousness, could I collaborate with certain people, having the sense and vision I have been given for the church, respond to that person, who they are, how they manage things etc.. without getting stressed to where my fibromyalgia constantly flares up? Can I work with certain individuals without getting reactive, to where I stress myself out because things are not very well planned ahead of time? That is the million dollar question I need to answer.