The past came has come visiting me these past few weeks, almost like a haunting, like a ghost. It stays buried for a while, but then either something with the fibromyalgia, something will resurrect the ghosts of the past, all the frustration about not paying attention to God’s plan for me, frustration about letting my childhood stuff cloud my choices etc… into adulthood. The past should stay in the past, shouldn’t cloud tomorrow, but I realized something. It has taken away, rather the baggage I have carried has taken away from me. It has up to now taken away any sense of safety, of choice, any real sense of the ability to make choices, not the right ones. In essence, what was ahead scared me because what had been had hurt me so much. Yet, I kept putting myself in relationship and career situations that would hurt me, cause pain, be one wall after another, one obstacle after another. It is only now that I am coming to understand this fully, this notion of being scared of what was before me, so I didn’t embrace, seek out fully God’s plan for me because I was too hurt by what had been and couldn’t really trust anyone fully, not even God. Am I in a place of being totally healed, where I can totally trust, even totally trust God? No, getting close, getting there, but not totally there, not yet. I am sure God understands and He is quite patient, so I just have to keep walking the journey till I get home, that’s all. What does home look like? Lots of music and ministry/coaching and lots of smiling as I share God, and the lessons of life with all the world, God’s path for me.
Shalom and Amen
The Internet has brought great benefits, even with it’s downsides, to society, such as a range of bloggers to suit any taste, even in poetry, in all areas. However, I do worry about accuracy in blogging, even journalism, a cautionary tale learned by the whole FISA debate and scandal going on. I very much appreciate my fellow bloggers, who are passionate about their work, and for that I say Kudos. I do hope that if bloggers are posting anything related to current events they are doing some solid research first, and that goes even in offering an opinion. Another piece of advice I would give any blogger is to write about what they are familiar with first, but even when giving opinion, step back, be at least partially logical and level headed, not purely emotional. Blogging, writing, coaching this stuff is something that can make for break reputations etc.., so let’s be as responsible as possible.
Hope is what keeps us sustained so that we can achieve goals, and as long as we are remembering to nourish those goals with guidance from the spiritual realm of our Creator, His Holy Spirit, appreciating what we do have as we make the journey to recieve what is in the Lord’s plan for us, then Hope is a beautiful thing. At times yes, it can seem like a chilly place, and we can get discouraged, but that is when we need to seek out the Lord, keep doing what we are prompted by the Holy Spirit. Remember any prompting of anything, if it is not in keeping with ethics, integrity, clear moral boundaries, true to one’s self as a creation of the Most High, is not from His Spirit, but from our own Ego, desires or something else. As scripture says, test what you feel, and once you know it is from the highest realm of spiritual wisdom, don’t fight, move forward in hope and faith.
I got my blood test results back and the results were thorns. My thyroid was high, and all my vitamin and iron counts, low. In addition my doctor expressed concerns about cysts in the pelvic and abdominal area, so change in thyroid meds, vitamin IV infusion twice a week for three weeks, and sonograms. Thorns, and more thorns, yet I find myself totally at peace, no anxiety, no anger about the constant crashing of the waves of fibromyalgia against my being. None of that, simply, do what you have to do to take care of things, keep working towards your goals. What am I doing in that respect? I am following instinct, rather what the Holy Spirit guides me to do.
I researched online, found music submission sites, to submit my music to blogs and radio stations, dj’s, so I am getting the music, stuff out there. I will do that consistently. This blog, well I will keep creating these meditation style pieces for you. I will keep seeking to find ways to inspire so on and so forth, and if you wish to support those efforts and donate I hope you do. I will promote this blog on radio and as guided by Holy Spirit at the right time, do live events, and I hope that will be soon. I understand that the plan of the Creator for my life is ministry, and now I am fully ready to be guided as to what that looks like. It is a beautiful place, a place of peace, beauty, fibro thorns and all.
I revamped the channel and it now has only 22 videos, but these videos represent steps in my journey of being the fullness of who my creator meant me to be, of honoring that, honoring that relationship, where I feel in my innermost heart, spirit and soul, guided by prayer, and scripture what direction I am supposed to go. In my social media and expressing views and overall truths, God did not give me the mantle of being PC, but that’s fine with me. As you will see in one or two of my songs as they come up, not in that area either, so brace yourselves.
Also, I will be doing mini seminars, audio which I will share with you directly on this blog, hope they will help you, so stay tuned. I hope if this blog is a blessing you will consider donating.
I love to sing and that’s great, I love to write, also great, love to perform artistically when it comes to poetry, also great, love to teach, coach, minister also great, but what is the core of my strength? Where should I put the focus? This is important. I had one of my songs professionally produced, “I Won’t Apologize for This” including the vocals, looked at which pieces got the most views etc… on youtube and asked for feedback, honest back from those who know me. I realized that my strength is in speaking up, speaking out what the Spirit, Holy Spirit guides me to speak and write, so I can teach etc…, but the singing, music production, best leave that to someone else. I best focus on the writing part, maybe even doing seminars. I still sing when I send the samples to the producers and vocalist who produce the tracks for me, so they can hear the baseline melody I want to for the piece. When I am at Mass, I sing my little heart out, in tune, out of tune who cares. Objectively seeing one’s gifts and being able to let go of stuff, and saying “Ok Lord, leaving that so someone else and I will do this other thing, leave that to others to do”, not a bad thing. Know your core strengths and work with that.
Why write poems and songs, why record songs and compose music any of that, some might say it’s not practical to dedicate your life to that, the chances of money making are small, but we don’t do it for the money, some of don’t, so why. This is why, for you the public and for sharing life, faith and everything in between, to inspire and much more.
I attended a prayer service yesterday at Life Center church in my neighborhood for the first time. What was different about it that will have me going back? What did it make me realize?
The first thing was that it was a place that was not distracting, it was a place where when we were hearing the praise music from the artist who also at one point offered her intercessory prayer, and when the pastor’s wife did the same, and another member of the church, we really were focused on that, on Christ. There was also because of this, a sense of egalitarianism where I felt that I could at some point perhaps also offer an intercessory moment such as prayer for the nation, our POTUS, for parents to be guided to do right in their parenting. Then there was the fact that we were combining worship music with prayer, both in harmony, in compliment and synergy. I had my eyes closed most of the time, really letting the music soak into me, the words, and the prayer intercessions, really communicating with all my heart, spirit and soul with God. I realized that this is why perhaps there is a moving toward the evangelical because while they do offer teaching, and God willing sound biblical teaching, they also understand the power of music as prayer, as part of prayer. I realize for me that is crucial to my faith, my faith life etc…, that communication of truth, and biblical truth through music, the arts. If that truth offends, not because of the truth itself, but rather because the truth has hit home and is truth, one that that person does not want to accept.
I will be going back and hopefully contribute also to the music and prayer, and I hope also to let people know about it, bring people to participate, pray with prayer and music.
Establishing myself to the global public as a writer creative and as an Inspirational/tough love coach takes time, work, patience different elements to come together. What I do during the time of building success will mean a lot. It will be a reflection on me, if I remain true to who I am, my “calling”, how I promote my work. If I become impatient and want it all to happen right away, then I might not make the wisest decisions. I am having someone create a solid marketing plan, am also seeing which videos have the most views and if the ones with the most views are the spoken word and spoken word with some singing sprinkled in, then in the new year I will re=record a number of pieces in that manner. I have to be patient with myself, the process of building up, building up on solid foundation, and making sure I am always authentic in my material, even in my personal development. What is going on with my artistic life etc.. bullet points?
- Compiling poetry to record, modify to make my own and philosophical quotes to also turn to poetry, improvisation poetry
- Hired a PR strategist via FIverr to create a strategic PR and Marketing plan for me to implement
- Plan to review my youtube channel, videos to see if it is best to re-record all pieces to be spoken word only or spoken word with smattering of song, or combination of both of these
I’ll keep you posted!
https://www.craftymorning.com/laminated-photo-snowglobe-ornaments/Make the Holidays Glow
Need to keep the kids busy and spend time with them so they won’t make you nuts, this is it, creative for all! I love bringing you guys these ideas, hope you enjoy them.