Good Stress, Bad Stress

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I wanted to share something practical with you because we all have stressors in our lives and some stress is good, some stress is bad stress.  I hope this helps you to figure out which stress your life is running on. It also gives some tips for dealing with stress.  I will also be posting a meditation for stress reduction in the next few days or so along with know yourself part 3.

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Thank You and God Bless.

Stronger Couples, What Gives?

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I am a big fan of the show “Everybody Loves Raymond” and in a way Frank and Marie Barrone, well they represent the real and imperfect relationship.  They fought, they disagreed, but they kept it real, no phoney baloney there.  Not saying to be like that, but I am saying that couples who try to be perfect, almost like Barbie and Ken dolls, or never address any issues, almost smiling, always seem lovey dovey, you have to wonder how real are they being, how authentic and what’s not being said, addressed that needs to be?  I am not talking fighting in an abusive way, talking disagreeing, even a raised voice once or twice, once in a while, each being able to be open about their feelings on any given subject and decision the family is seeking to reach.  One thing you never do in any discussion, any fight with a partner or even kids, family is hit below the belt, and if there is stuff that has not been addressed from the past, address it, but address it holistically in connection to what is happening now.   You need to have discussion periodically about family finances, key family stuff that does affect the overall well being of the family, and it’s okay to disagree with each other, just don’t undermine each other in front of or around the kids, big NOOOOOOO!!  Have enough of a functioning brain not to do that, please.  Don’t avoid, repress and try to be perfect because that’s not erality, not life, not people, not real people. 

Amen

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What Is A Relationship About?

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As I read this I realized this is something I had not really been able to do, not fully, part of it has to do with being an intuitive and picking stuff up about people at times immediately upon seeing them and believe me it can get very awkward, especially if you are picking up on behavior etc… that is less than honorable they are engaging in or negative emotions they are feeling.  I realize now that if I am going to ask God to bring me a life partner and companion, even if it is a soulmate, there will be differences, natural that there will be differences, hopefully not major ones, not major worldview ones.  If I think that I am only going to have similarities, no differences, not realistic is it, not really.  I have to appreciate the similarities, but also will have to appreciate what we can learn from the differences.  There will be something we can teach each other, without even trying, from those differences.  This is an important foundation as is both romantic and agape love, the kind Jesus had for all of humanity.  May we all learn this very important lesson, hopefully sooner rather than later and have relationships that are full of dignity, respect and beauty, not perfect because that doesn’t exist, but real and a great journey made. 

Shalom and Amen

If you find this blog to be helpful, please consider donating and a percentage of all donations will go charities, which I do vet through charity navigator and other sources. 

Also, Please check out my youtube channel, like and subscribe:  https://www.youtube/kappelloarts

Feel the Feeling.jpgI Understand Now.jpg

We don’t always like what we feel, and we can wish we could always feel the love as they say.  That’s not realistic, not life.  In life we are going to hear stuff we don’t like, even from those closest to us when they dish out tough love, and we are going to see stuff going on in the world that piss us off, even in our own immediate surroundings.  Emotions are part of being human, so the issue is not the emotions, but rather how you view them.  We live in a messy world due to The Fall, and that means we are messy at any given time in our lives.  Mindfulness and being in the moments says “Ok, you have this feeling, don’t deny, and now that you acknowledge it, how are you going to move forward with it, once you release it, the grip it has on you?’  You have a choice, we all do as to how we then move forward once we acknowledge having the feeling we have, even anger.  Do we go Destructive Rambo, or Mr. Smith Goes to Washington?  Do we stay angry, destroy or process release and rebuild?  That’s up to us.  When you are mindful, the one thing you can’t do is run.  You have to own it as they say, which is not easy.  You have to own it when you hear what you don’t want to hear, but deep in your heart you know is truth.  All this is part of the process of growing and growing up, maturing, not always a fun process, not totally, but it is awesome. Awesome.  Next up, how do you process emotions, the ones you don’t like.

Shalom and Amen

One of The Hardest Things

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Loss of someone who has passed away is chaotic internally and also externally in some ways.  When I saw this quote, I thought of relationships that end, where one person walk away or you have to walk away, but there is still love there, even if you might no longer be in love, but you still love them.  If you are a child who was caught up in the grown ups such situation and the parent is not passed away, but for whatever reason they are not in your life, but you know they are very much alive, that kind of grief in these kinds of situations is a bit different.  If the parent is dealing with mental health or addiction issues or the partner is, any of these situations, it is as if the person has died in a way, has gone away, even though they are not passed away.  It is often like being in a state of suspended animation.  This is also true when a parent walks out on the family, and then after a short while all contact is lost or ceases.  The child knows the parent is alive, that other relatives are alive, but they are not there, sharing life with them.  

What do you do?  This poem, the title and the overall gist of it says it well, Miss Me, But Let Me Go.  It’s okay to mourn the relationship that could have been, but never was, for a bit, to cry for it, hurt for it, rage about it with tears, but then let it go, release it.  Give it a burial of sorts, with forgiveness, build friendships, new life.  Miss them, but let them and what could have been, let it go for your sake, and even theirs.  Pray for all to work out to the greater good, let the heavens take care of the rest.

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Why Some Thing Now, Some Not

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We will often in our lives create this seemingly perfect plan and  knowing who you are as a child of the Most High, of the Creator of the Universe, having a general outline for your life, understanding your gifts, talents, what you love to do most and all that, putting that into practice is not a bad thing.  I wish I had had this all sorted out a lot sooner.  I wish I had gotten into the music and found this great production team a lot soon through fiverr, but I didn’t and honestly I did a lot of self sabotaging in different areas of my life.  Then I didn’t realize I was doing it, or really why, all the unresolved baggage I had from my childhood, and that’s another blog post and poem.  I do believe in what Paul says in Scripture about powers and principalities of darkness, negative entity and even if you study metaphysics, there are positive and negative energy forces in the universe and even within our own psyche. God when he realizes that we are not at a mature stage to handle certain things, as much as we might want them career wise or in different areas of life, will allow sabotage, dalay and that kind of thing, not cause it, but allow it.  He will allow the journey of self discovery to realize, wow I do have a bunch of baggage I am running from and stuff I am not taking responsibility for, time to stop that and stop that now, deal with it all, painful as it might be, only then can I truly move forward to know who I truly am as a child of the Most High and with all my gifts, talents, put them to use, go on the path I am meant to go on.  It can be a long and arduous journey, won’t kid you, but when you get to that point of that realization of, wow etc.. and deal with any inner conflict etc… and in a way that is really mature and to the greater good, it makes all the difference to your life and even society.  One thing that is important is getting out of victim mode and never letting anyone keep you there or try to put you there.  Not saying bad stuff doesn’t happen and not to deal with the emotions etc…, but don’t let anyone make you a life long victim or to see the world as a scary horrible place eternally.  Life, the world, everything has like the rose, both the rose and the thorns.  Realistically see both, know how to navigate the thorns as you appreciate the beauty of the rose.  Know that there is a time to use your gifts etc… and a time to nurture them, it’s important to discern when each time is.

Amen

What Fear Means

Fear Meanings

As I look at this I see two societies in our culture of oday, the first meaning with today’s youth and millennials in a number of ways, coddled by schools, parents, society, given the role of victim, taught to be victims, where everything is trauma, offence etc…  Campuses places where only one point of view can be presented and debated or “therapy rooms” are needed, where comedians fear to go, anyone who is not ALT Left fears to go.  I see a secular and even faith segment of the world that loves to victimize everyone, and clamors social justice at every turn, to the point of endangering souls for eternity, not at all preparing anyone for life, for living or dealing with life.  Then there is the second meaning, in that one I see a segment of society that is fierce in their seeking to face problems head on, no running, no victim status, understanding we all fall short of the glory of God, are not perfect, we error, but determined to move through and past all fears, obstacles constructively, in constructive, mature ways that honor boundaries, even moral boundaries, even if at times they stumble and fall.  They will speak truth, will engage in debate, even fierce debate, are not afraid of it.  They are aware that life is not fair, so what, you don’t run into a corner and boo hoo poor me every time. 

Fear is perfectly normal in life, different levels of it, but it’s how interact with it, manage it, whether you let it control you, or faith, reasoning, constructive action control you,   That’s what matters and that’s not to say you don’t have or show pain, but you don’t let the pain become who you are, don’t see victimhood, yours at every corner, live it constantly, making your life and society’s chaos.  That is definition number one of fear and frankly dumb as dumbells.  Decide which definition are you, are you going to be and how are you going to make changes to be that definition, hopefully the second one.  If you have to give something up and move on from some stuff, well don’t wallow and whine a million years about it, do it, be constructive, be empathetic all that, but do it, don’t wallow, pout, make everyone miserable, create misery, chaos all around you forever and ever.

Amen

Let Go Of, Move Forward

Northern Lights II

This presentation discusses things we need to let go of in order to move forward.  I am adding the meditation “What is Holding You Back?” to compliment it.  The two combined I hope will help you in your life journey. If these have been a blessing I hope you will consider donating to this blog.

Life Lessons, Short and Sweet

Life Lessons

Each of these situations, being human as we are, bring pain, anger etc… However, life is a journey of learning, the most effective kind of learning comes from experience, so in life we will encounter situations that are less than ideal, for us anyway, but there is something for us to learn in each of them.  The trick is from an emotional-spiritual point of view understanding what that is and then applying that lesson well into the future.  I will be doing a short meditation to help you with this and also a series of meditations and presentations entitles Knowing Yourself.  After all, if God decided you should be created, I think taking the time to know yourself is not a bad idea, right.