Expectations, Blessing or Not?

Garden

 

Expectations, we all have them, not necessarily a negative thing, is it? well depends.  Depends, depends on what, either you do or you don’t have them?  Either they’re good or they’re bad, work or they don’t?  Well, no, not that simple.

We can each define ambition and progress for ourselves. The goal is to work toward a world where expectations are not set by the stereotypes that hold us back, but by our personal passion, talents and interests.

Sheryl Sandberg 

Let’s start with expectations of self.  We can be our own worst critics, our harshest taskmasters.   Shouldn’t we have expectations of ourselves, goals?  Yes, but at the same time, what should they be?  We all have innate gifts, talents our creator gave us, and understanding the needs of humanity, understood we could not all be given the same gifts and even within the category of those gifts not at the same level of capacity.  What should we expect from ourselves?  When I taught ESL one of the mottos we gave students was KISS, Keep It Simple Sweetheart.  In the case of personal expectations the best expectation is to discover what your God given talents and gifts are, find constructive opportunities to develop them and use them in your lifetime to your benefit and benefit of the greater society, one where all have the opportunity to develop their talents etc…  Also, give yourself space to stumble and fall, get up again, wiser, stronger than before, with greater faith than before. 

Whatever happens in the world is real, what one thinks should have happened is projection. We suffer more from our fictitious illusion and expectations of reality.

Jacque Fresco

What about others, expectations of others?  Often we go back to what others should have done, over and over.  We put high expectations on others, very specific laundry list on them of what they should do to prove themselves to us etc..  What if we just had the same expectation of them that I spoke of having for ourselves? What if we expected realization of potential and might I add for self, no victimization crap, accepting that yeah life has moments that really frankly are YUK, and UGGHHHH!, cry, scream into the pillow, beat up the pillow, go to the gym and punch the punching bag, exercise, get it out constructively, make changes to life, behavior etc.., be an example to others of expectation on how to handle tough moments. Expect them to learn and move forward, process and move forward with what was learned, keep growing, learning, realizing their full potential, be a better person.  What if that was the basic expectation we had, nothing more, and relayed that clearly, all we expected was develop and live up to your full potential, which I know exists, just have to find it and cultivate it, through thick and thin, be there for them to do so?  Something to contemplate. 

Amen

Poem For You

Life and Liberty, God Bless America
The light shines within., going out in connection to the Divine Creator.

“Write it on your heart
that every day is the best day in the year.
He is rich who owns the day, and no one owns the day
who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety.

Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt crept in.
Forget them as soon as you can, tomorrow is a new day;
begin it well and serenely, with too high a spirit
to be cumbered with your old nonsense.

This new day is too dear,
with its hopes and invitations,
to waste a moment on the yesterdays.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

 

Goals Matter, Why?

Garden

You see this photo, I like it, one of my favorite images that i have downloaded. The reason is it shows steps surrounded by lush green, nature.   Steps are equivalent to goals, so sometimes if you want to get to a great site, sacred site or historical something, you have to climb a number of steps.  Life is kind of like that and the steps you need are goals, those matter, but why and what should you keep in mind when setting goals, well I know I have touched on this before, but I came across this article and wanted to share it with you.

Setting Goals: Your only recipe for success

Goals are like signposts. As long as you can see these signposts, then you know you are heading in the right direction. When you set goals, you eliminate the possibility veering off the track and derailing into failure. When a train veers of the rails, the entire locomotive is derailed. Looking at the rails, one does not see anything special in them; just a solid mass of steel. But that simple mass of steel ensures that the train remains on course and that everyone on board reaches their destination safely and on time.

Goals are like rails. Without them, our claim to success will never find expression in reality. Just as a train must stay on the rails to complete the journey, our dreams, our ambitions, and our desires must find expression in goals that are clear, realistic and timely.

When we have well articulated and clearly defined goals, the journey towards success becomes lighter, even less tiring. This is because goals help us to (i) stay focused (ii) be realistic in our expectations (iii) gauge our progress (iv) avoid being overwhelmed (v) re-evaluate and redefine our strategy to ensure conformity and consistency with our objectives.

Stay focused
John Maxwell says “obstacles are the things you see when you take your eyes off the goal”. How true! Every time you take your eyes away from the goal at hand, you will surely wander off into troubled waters. If you get to a point in your success journey where you can’t see your goal, you are definitely headed into failure territory.

Goals constantly remind us that there are tasks that need to be done, and within a particular time frame, for us to make progress. Without goals reminding us of where we are and what we are supposed to do to get where we ought to be, we will only be working hard and achieving nothing. Hard work, as Maxwell says, “is the accumulation of easy tasks you did not do when you should have”. The easy routine tasks that we sometimes ignore feeds into our success. Failure to perform these tasks will translate into failure.

Goals must be realistic
Goals must be firmly established upon unflinching reality. If you want to go to New York and you only have ten dollars, it would be foolhardy to start packing for your journey. The reality is that boarding a plane to New York from Nairobi costs more than 10 dollars! But you say, “I have faith in God”? Well, faith is not foolish, neither is it an emotion. No amount of goose bumps or frenzied hysteria will take you to New York on ten dollars. Be real or you will miss the deal.

Goals are yardsticks
Like yardsticks, goals help us gauge or measure our progress, or lack of it. Without goals constantly reminding us where we are and what we should be doing to get where we ought to be, we will be running wild. No amount of sticking our head deep into the sand will help us achieve success. We must stick it out to the end by daily attaining the goals we have set for ourselves. This can only be done if today’s tasks are ‘done’ today!

To post pone to tomorrow today’s task will only mean one thing: a clog up tasks. The result is that we end up breaking our backs trying to accomplish both yesterday’s and today’s tasks; resulting in sloppy and unfinished tasks.

Goals help us avoid overwhelm
To de-stress our lives, we need to learn how to work smart by finishing our daily tasks on schedule.

This is important if we are to avoid being overwhelmed by tasks carried over from yesterday.

One of the leading causes of burnout and depression is the failure to tackle simple tasks on time. As tasks pile up one after another, we end up having to work overtime and sometimes overnight; pushing our body to limits it was not designed to go. To avoid overwhelm, learn to decongest your life by doing what must be done today, today! However if you want to work hard and up stressing yourself, go ahead and let the tasks accumulate.

Goals help us re-strategize
Finally we need to re-evaluate and redefine our strategy to ensure conformity with our objectives. Strategies help us achieve our goals faster. However, some of the strategies we use are sometimes rendered obsolete by the passage of time. When this happens, it is important to redefine or tweak them a little.

Strategies must always remain relevant and in line with the desired goals. When they become irrelevant or obsolete, they should be discarded and new ones invented.

Strategies help us save time by crowding out irrelevant tasks; those that only take up our time but which do not feed into in to our goals. Strategies also help us to concentrate on priority tasks; those that are crucial to the attainment of our goals.

Quote of the Day Reflection

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There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.
Bryan H. McGill

Do you have to like everyone you love? Do you have to approve of every action taken by those you love? Wait are these trick questions?  No, they are not.  Loving people does not mean you are going to like or love everything about them, or how they live their lives necessarily.  You may not always be thrilled in the aftermath how you lived your own life, may have moments you don’t like yourself much.  Can you love on a broad human scale to forgive, even if you voice your distaste etc…, hopefully and please non-violently?  You can’t really forgive if you don’t have genuine love for the person, or a general Agape love that is taught in spiritual communities.  Does that mean you have to associate with them, especially if they show a pattern of negative behavior, show they are incapable of true relationship etc…, even true friendship?  No, you don’t.  Forgiving is as much about you and your own journey, loving yourself enough to release the harmful poison that bitterness and lack of forgiving bring to your heart, body, spirit, soul and life.  What about in cases of a tragedy, don’t we want justice?  Yes, but you won’t get justice if you are do blinded by anger and rage that you can’t let justice take its’ course and trust that whether in this life or the after, it will come, in God’s time, not yours, NOT yours.  Justice is not the same as enraged immediate revenge, which could result in an even greater tragedy and error. Without forgiveness there can be no discernment of any truth, that includes forgiving one’s self for errors, missing the mark as scripture says.  Not to say we shouldn’t strive to be better persons and cultivate discernment, right moral, ethical etc… judgement even in how we live our lives, we should, for our sake, the sake of nations, communities and greater society, future generations.  Forgiveness does not mean you have to be a part of someone’s life, have a relationship, or if you do approve of how they are conducting their lives, it means you can mutually agree to disagree and express how you feel without fear one to the other, if you have a really together life with solid boundaries, moral and ethical boundaries etc..who knows you can be a great example for change and transformation. 

Amen

Reflection, Quote for the Day

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Positive anything is better than negative nothing.  To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing. If you suffer, thank God! It is a sure sign that you are alive. Elbert Hubbard, American writer, 1859-1915

As I read these quotes I thought of today’s politicos and even so called activists, academics, the mess we are in all over the place and they hit home.  They are interconnected.  Let’s start with the first one.  Positive action to solve issues is always better than sitting around doing nothing and watching the house burn to the ground, and if lives are at stake, people are trapped in the burning building then there is moral imperative to do something.  Same if you have people trapped under a building, right? Yes and no.  There you have a different scenario.  There is a Brady Bunch Christmas special where Mike Brady is called in by this boss who did not listen to Mike about putting certain safety features and he and two other workers get trapped under building rubble.  Of course the family wants someone to go in and save Mike right away, or a team to go in, but if they do, not knowing just how stable or unstable the beams are the whole thing could come down and kill them all.  How would that be good for anyone including the families of those who die under the total collapse of the building?  Mike who is the architect knows the building finds his own way out to safety, via his own ingenuity.   Action needs to be positive, but it can only be so if there is no political or such ambition behind it, no one side only view behind it, and if it is seen in full view mirror historical, cultural, financial etc.. past, present, future to the great good of present and future generations, including financial health of the greater community, includes nations.  Is that asking for a lot of maturity? heck yeah.  Knowing when to do something, a little, a lot, nothing for now, letting individuals, communities and their own ingenuity take over so they don’t become dependent children, individuals, communities etc…  and really are able to take pride in their ability to map out their own destiny, find talents within they never realized they had, or make use of talents they never got the chance to make use of, is crucial.   For politicians and those in high profile positions, doing nothing, doing little, letting We The People, forcing us to solve our own problems, in community, including within the faith community, through the private sector mainly, with our own ingenuity, not telling us we need to suck up the fact that life is not always sweet as honey, has thorns like roses have thorns, and that government is not your mom and dad, is not responsible for your every care and whim, deal with it, is not a good way to get votes, is it?  It guess it wont go over well with the image of smiling, kissing babies and all that come election day.  So, they say nothing of what needs to be said, which is stop being a nation and society of whiners, complainers, vampires, thugs etc…, grow up!  Instead they do Negative Somethings and keep getting us into more debt, more division and a bigger mess. Families are doing the same, parents with their kids, same thing, couples, in all spheres, faith institutions trying to be hip, modern, politically correct being fools and clowns.  That leads us to the third quote.  OMG, please don’t give our young people any sense of competition, any sense that they are not all geniuses in school, or that anyone of them is any less in aptitude in any way shape or form, oh no!  Save them from any speech that will cause them to be hurt in feelings or any way  shape or form, oh poor babies should they have to suffer a different point of you, the travesty the trauma!  Seriously?  A sterilized world, life where you have no emotions, no constructive emotions, no constructive debates, even passionate ones, vigorous ones, where you never are hurt, never are heartbroken is a world of robots, a world of non humans, of cold, lifeless androids.  Sucks.  On the other hand, being pure anger, rage, emotion, can’t handle the truth about anything, means you are perpetual child, annoying child who at some point everyone will want to smack upside the head a thousand times over, wanting you to get the hell over yourself and grow the hell up!  Also sucks!

Sadly this is the world we are living in and yet I would like to think there is hope for this to turn around and for us to live in a vibrant world where heart and reason meet, congeal, work together, where it is about the big picture of common sense for the greater good long term financially for all, giving free reign of ingenuity to the local community and individuals to be able to solve problems, to present solutions, and for a lot of people with a strong backbone, not a society of whiners, complainers etc…, no need for safe spaces and playdough, or whatever it is called, been a long while since I was a kid.

Amen

What’s Happening With Memberships?

raise a toast

I wanted to update you on what is happening with the direction of the blog, memberships and membership levels. 

Let me start with the direction.  I am going to steer the blog in the direction of spiritual, life coaching and inspirational.  In terms of spiritual, my background is metaphysical, Christian, and artist, so it will be approached from that aspect.  As for the memberships, the free will include articles as has so far and the premium, please bare with me as I am working on setting up a monthly recurring payment method, will allow you to access e-books, audio and even connect to live events I will schedule via Zoom.  I hope some of you will consider premium membership. 

Again, I want to celebrate and thank my fellow bloggers for their contribution with their time and the work they put in on their blogs.

Shalom and Amen

 

32 Words That Can Change Your Life

32 Words That Can Change Your Life

By: Carina MacInnes

We all have ways of testing opportunities that enter our lives. Some of us just dive right in based on feeling, others walk straight into what they know is right by a gut feeling or intuition. And if it’s not gut feelings or emotions that are the tests of opportunities, it is the logical mind persuading us to ignore those feelings and emotions and test it with our reality of reason.

Most of us do not have a predetermined strategy for testing opportunities, or even more generally to test the actions we take and the choices we make in our lives.

There is an easier way to determine if our choices we make and the opportunities we receive ‘pass the test’. This simple 32 word statement of business ethics was first created in the 1930s and used to turn around a failing company. These four questions were applied by each employee to each and to every minute detail of the company’s workings. This little list of four questions from Rotary International, a humanitarian business organization, is the most widely printed, translated and reproduced piece of business ethics today:

“Of the things we say, think or do:
1. Is it the TRUTH?
2. Is it FAIR to all concerned?
3. Will it build GOODWILL and BETTER FRIENDSHIPS?
4. Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?”

If we built businesses and our lives based on these very simple 4 questions we would be coming from a place completely the opposite of the competitive mind and the lack mentality. As you can see, these questions prompt you to choose what is true, fair, and good, making choices that can build friendships and goodwill. It helps us to see how the choices we make can be beneficial to all concerned.

Because of our societal influences, we most often are inclined to make choices and act based on a competitive mind. This comes from the perspective of lack, scarcity, and ultimately greed.

Any opportunity based on the model of competition and lack will simply not pass the test. Competition promotes strife. It embodies winning one spot, taking it away from all the other people who want it. It misleads people to believing there is only one chance for success, when in reality there is plenty for all.

The competitive model encourages people to rely on a source outside of themselves to give them what they need. This denies the power of their own ability to create what they want. This narrow focus shows they are choosing to ignore the possibility of creating this opportunity in their own lives, instead of trying to win the spot from millions of others.

This simple testing technique takes us completely out of the competitive mind of greed, scarcity and lack. It turns our thoughts and choices toward the positive, realizing there are opportunities we can take that can provide increase for all concerned.

I invite you to use these questions to test your actions and opportunities in your life. If you are seeking opportunity, these questions may help you see things in a different way. In doing this, perhaps you might find an opportunity in your life which truly allows you to benefit the world, while at the same time reaching whatever your dreams, goals, and desires