Maybe Love

Maybe Love

We are made to seek community, companionship, love, acceptance etc… and we want that special something in our lives, that lifetime safety net of love etc.. that will be there through thick and thin. I suppose I forgot to do something really important, create community, build moments of saying to love in any form “welcome, make yourself comfortable, even if just for a while”. I guess when you get the rug taken out from under you as a kid, when the safety is shaken you are afraid to let yourself really open up for even a little while and when you do and you do to one you should never have gotten involved with because it was a violation of God’s commands and would end badly, that scar might mean a wall goes up. Add a chronic health issue to the mix, that restricts and isolates, so this poem when I saw it became relevant.  I have to make a choice about how I want to live the rest of my life.

Yes Fibromyalgia creates restriction, but I need to do something differently and the first step is tightening my budget, figuring out how to bring in some supplementary income, sign up with the small gym that has licensed rehab specialists to create a program specialized for me.  I need to get to a better place health wise.  I need to get active in creating a spiritual community based on what I feel in my heart and come together with like minded people.  I need to start living the way this poem speaks, time to make changes, no matter what hurts of the past, they need to be in the past.

What Kind of Spark?

Soulmate Is.jpg

I have thought about this spark thing and what kind of spark makes for life partnership?  Is a life partner spark that one that kind that of someone who makes you jump out of your skin, someone with whom you have everything in common with?  Hmm, well, I think it’s a very personal thing, what may be sparkline to me, may not be sparkline to someone else.  If there is someone with whom there are things in common, but also things not in common so that we learn from each other, we open new doors to each other that’s a great connection.  Also great is a connection that is very comfortable, very sweet, warm, we can easily connect, talk to each other, pretty much from the beginning,  It’s someone that for me I would have been comfortable with from day one, challenges me to be a better me, to explore my dreams, gifts, talents, even if they never said a word to me,  Though there might be differences on some things, the key points we are on the same page, at least in principle, even if not on the mechanism of how to achieve it, not right away.  It’s a relationship where though we are one, we also have clear separate identities and also have separate activities, we are not glued at the hip, though we do share a lot of activities and stuff.  We are also very supportive of each other’s goals and dreams, finding a way to align them with our life together somehow in a way that is always good for the relationship.   That’s the core of what I see as a soulmate relationship.  What about the spark, the fire and all that?  Depends on what you mean by that.  The spark could be spark in terms of something where every time you see the person your heart jumps, you et all shaky and wooo hoooo, kind of thing.  Spark could also be where every time you see them, you get all warm and fuzzy inside and feel really glad to see them, want to give them the biggest bear hug every and just be in their arms all day and all night.  Spark can mean different things for different relationships at different stages of life and depending on the people involved.  It’s a companion, a friend, a stable and secure relationship one you can lean on, trust and depend on to help you through life. There’s a mutual feeling of love and respect and a sense of being in sync with each others needs and wants.   It may be that we find this union early on in life or it may be we are meant to find it much later in life.  Once you do find each other, pray that the Lord finds a way to unite you that is beautiful and sacred.   Doesn’t mean you won’t have disagreements, but if you are “the one” for each other you will navigate the storms pretty easily and without causing damage to the other, or to the relationship and will gowo in love even more over time.

Shalom and Amen

Stronger Couples, What Gives?

Stronger Couples.jpg

I am a big fan of the show “Everybody Loves Raymond” and in a way Frank and Marie Barrone, well they represent the real and imperfect relationship.  They fought, they disagreed, but they kept it real, no phoney baloney there.  Not saying to be like that, but I am saying that couples who try to be perfect, almost like Barbie and Ken dolls, or never address any issues, almost smiling, always seem lovey dovey, you have to wonder how real are they being, how authentic and what’s not being said, addressed that needs to be?  I am not talking fighting in an abusive way, talking disagreeing, even a raised voice once or twice, once in a while, each being able to be open about their feelings on any given subject and decision the family is seeking to reach.  One thing you never do in any discussion, any fight with a partner or even kids, family is hit below the belt, and if there is stuff that has not been addressed from the past, address it, but address it holistically in connection to what is happening now.   You need to have discussion periodically about family finances, key family stuff that does affect the overall well being of the family, and it’s okay to disagree with each other, just don’t undermine each other in front of or around the kids, big NOOOOOOO!!  Have enough of a functioning brain not to do that, please.  Don’t avoid, repress and try to be perfect because that’s not erality, not life, not people, not real people. 


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What Is A Relationship About?

A Relationship Is About.jpg

As I read this I realized this is something I had not really been able to do, not fully, part of it has to do with being an intuitive and picking stuff up about people at times immediately upon seeing them and believe me it can get very awkward, especially if you are picking up on behavior etc… that is less than honorable they are engaging in or negative emotions they are feeling.  I realize now that if I am going to ask God to bring me a life partner and companion, even if it is a soulmate, there will be differences, natural that there will be differences, hopefully not major ones, not major worldview ones.  If I think that I am only going to have similarities, no differences, not realistic is it, not really.  I have to appreciate the similarities, but also will have to appreciate what we can learn from the differences.  There will be something we can teach each other, without even trying, from those differences.  This is an important foundation as is both romantic and agape love, the kind Jesus had for all of humanity.  May we all learn this very important lesson, hopefully sooner rather than later and have relationships that are full of dignity, respect and beauty, not perfect because that doesn’t exist, but real and a great journey made. 

Shalom and Amen

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Helping Others to Accept Christ


Believe it or not, Christ Consciousness, Christ embrace is not easy for everyone. Often times when we think we want to help, we are disliked by other people. You may wish to help your friends, family or closest partner to awaken to beautiful settings in life. You may want your mother or possibly that elder sister to just awaken and accept rather than suffer. You want to show them the benefits of changing their way of thinking. However, it is not as easy as you think.

Consider the example of Christ. He enlightened all of us. However, you also know that despite his miracles, there were those who stood against him. Even among his chosen companions, there were some who didn’t follow him as strongly as his truly devoted ones. There were others who opposed him although knowing he was chosen one. I am not referencing this in comparison to your family or friends. What you need to learn is that the great master approached everyone according to their own level and intelligence. He didn’t impose rules on anyone. He loves everyone and approached them all. However, there are following things you can do to your relatives which will possibly open their mind for spiritual change.


Your family or closest friend may or may not respond well to pieces of advice you offer them. No matter the amount of love, the advice will seem to be imposing if you offer them regularly. Instead, why not start with asking how can you be of any help? If they tell you, it is best. Ask their permission in giving advice like can I have a say in this matter.

No need for Pity:

Never feel sorry for your friend or family. When you feel pity for them, it might also become apparent from your behavior. They would straight up reject your advice. Instead approach this way, “Hey, you aren’t weak, you are a strong person”. Encouraging them as well as


Often times it is the troubles which either make a person bitter or they make one better. Try compassion always. When you approach someone with compassion, they will respond well to your advice. They will see you as guide. You have perfect opportunity to let them be led towards the great Master.


While compassion is best, offering advice isn’t the only thing they will respond well to. What do your friends or simply humans need when they are sad? They need support and need to feel loved. They often don’t view advice as relatable since it sometimes makes them feel they were wrong. No matter your intention, your advice may not be the best way. You need to be their support through tough times to let them trust you. Only then, you will have chance to become their guiding light.

No to Negative folks:

This one is especially difficult. Some among your friends or even your family will not only reject your advice, they will try to bring your vibrations down too. They have chosen to become bitter instead of better. Any advice you offer will be made fun of. In this scenario, it’s better to stay away than offer any help. If they ask for help, it’s good. If they don’t, never approach on your own. You need to heal and remain healed than trying to heal the destructive people. You can only pray to Jesus for them.

Always keep in mind that although spirituality is a wonderful thing, Master Jesus didn’t impose ore even judge everyone on its basis. The great Master told only his secrets to those who wanted to follow him. You should go for same attitude.

What is Love?


This is a question that has been asked throughout time and history.  It is not one would think an easy one to answer.  We humans often complicate things when things are not complicated, and I came across this quote that I thought was a pretty good explanation.

“Love is friendship that has caught fire.  It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving.  It is loyalty through good and bad times.  It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weakness”

How often have you said or heard the phrase “the perfect man/woman, or job, career”  Look for that and you are going to end up very disappointed.  Life has no perfections, but it does have works in progress, hopefully that’s all of us wonderful works in progress.  Does that mean you have profound connection have and attraction at first sight, or that settles means you put up with abuse in any form, chronic cheating and such crap?  No, of course not.  The basis for a solid relationship is friendship, so if you have that as the basis, a heartfelt understanding of where the other is at in their life, where they want to go with their life, mutually support each other, realize that we all have flaws, all, for all fall short of the glory of God, which could lead once we are truly ready, to something awesome, the perfect person for each of us, not a perfect person, but guided by the Holy Spirit, uniting with the one perfect for us and us for them.  It might happen early in life, or later, the when is not crucial, it’s being prepared to fully understand and live this understanding of love.  My prayers are not for the perfect anything, but the stuff perfect for me, and I for it, that includes artistic collaborations etc… May i have the blessing, fortune and wisdom to allow this into my life. 





When The Heart Fears, Paralyzes, Yikes!

Letting Go Never Easy, But Necessary

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Love is, being in love can be a powerful thing, but also the most frightening thing in the world and in some cases more so.

Love and being in love can be exhilarating, make you feel like you are floating on air, inspire etc.., but it can also be petrifying. How can that be, didn’t I just say it was great? Yes, I did, but…Yeah sometimes for some there is a but in there, even if it may not seem rational to others.  For people who are not good at communicating, or communicating emotions, are painfully shy, falling in love, being in love can be a real literal pain.  They may be head over heals with someone and even fall for someone who is not shy at all, the opposite, that whole compliment and synergy thing, opposites attract.  Because they are so painfully shy, it can be quite daunting for them to express what is in their heart.  For someone like that the best thing is to “bite the bullet” as they say and provided there is no impediment and they are free to be with the one they love, just plunge right in and express yourself.  If the other party has given any indication they have an interest, then should be no problem.  I am a firm believer in prayer and meditation before any endeavor and asking for a few angels to accompany you as well, can’t hurt.  What might be another reason the heart fears loving and being loved? History of course.  If a person has a history of having made lousy choices, painful ones in the past, has had a very unhappy marriage that has just ended in a not so amicable divorce and all that, is concerned about how their kids might react to a new woman in their life, even if the kids are grown and if they are not a very strong personality, then they may doubt their ability to make a choice, to love and be loved rightly. They never connect, not really, close off their heart, spirit, soul to anything deep, and though they have a lot of butterfly connections, they are terrified of anything raw and deep, too many inner demons tormenting for that.  In this case, one has to face those demons head on constructively, look at the pattern of bad choices and change the pattern. Then one can prayerfully move forward with an open heart the demons are put to rest.  Then there is the must control person, the one who has to control every aspect of things, and won’t even consider what the other has to say about anything.  They are too full of their own whatever to share the spotlight with anyone, too territorial to share a path, life a journey with anyone.  This might require some life and relationship coaching and definitely prayer. Life is about journey and hopefully we can find a special someone, a true twinflame soulmate to share the spotlight with.  

Is any of this easy? No, not by a long shot, but it is I think worth it.   Love, falling in love, being in love can be scary, as much as it can be amazing and staying in love takes an effort to stay on a common path, journey together, but if we let fear paralyze the heart, she spirit and soul, we miss out of something potentially amazing.  That truly would be a sad thing.   


What Does It Mean To Let Go

Inspiration Peace and Love

We often hear that you need to let go, especially when it comes to relationships that went south, sour had a sad etc.. ending, broke your heart and all that.  What does that mean? 

As I said the Holy Spirit has been having me do a lot of reflection this Lenten season and this is a question that has come up in my spirit, my soul.  I thought about a relationship that has haunted for though it is not a part of my life anymore, not in the sense of they are in my day to day life, or that I see them etc..  Yet as I said in a previous post, memories you can’t run away from, and so memories are there always.  When I say I have let go, what does that mean?  Does it mean I have no memory of them, don’t know what they look like, or would not recognize them if I saw them in the street?  No, of course not.  Here is what it does mean.  I don’t blame, resent or any of that.  I am able to look at it all, even the not so great stuff with detachment and realize it takes two to tango, and two to make a mess of things.  Both of us messed up for different reason, but I can stand back now and say that he was not the villian and that it was all on him that things got messed up.  That’s big deal, to be able to step back and say that my insecurities played a part in things going all wonky, along with one or two other factors, but not the main point.  Main point is the letting go and what that means, this being a part of it.  What is the other part of it?  I can see their face on social media, and a comment they made, something they posted, be pissed about the content, hit back hard, but at the same time smile and laugh about it, thinking, whatever, just them being them.  Then I can also think, what would I do if I were walking along one day and came face to face with them? What if they said they wanted to go to lunch, what then?  I can honestly say I could go to lunch, sit in the park with them and hear them out, have an open heart conversation and go from there no bitterness, nothing like that.  Any negative feelings, attachments etc….that is what I have let go of, and that means I have been able to step back and see that I can’t make them the villain in this, nor can they do it to me, both of us messed up, have to take responsibility, forgive each other and ourselves.  Letting go to me anyway means this, not sure what it means to others, but this is what it means to me.


What Is Friendship, Love?

Made me reflect on love.

I must have listened to this song I don’t how many times in my life, but for some reason, in the past three days it struck a cord with me, one part of one of the Karate Kid movies in particular.

The end scene when the Karate Kid is down and looks beaten by his rival in the karate match.  Suddenly the girl he loves gets up and starts beating the mini drum and then his teacher, surrogate dad, then others and it’s a chain reaction.  That moment tells us what love is about.  A big part of what love is about, what friendship is about is giving courage to the other person and making them see the potential within themselves that they may not see and wanting that to shine.  It’s not about the material gifts, or about sex in a romantic union, not that it doesn’t matter, but the essence of love is beating the drum when they are down to lift them up and giving them that sense of courage to lift themselves up, to fly and shine bright, hopefully they take you beside them on that journey and they do the same for you.  That is what love is about at the core.

Connections I Will Always Cherish

Inspiration  and Love

Past and Present there are particular connections to particular individuals I will cherish for the rest of my life. I hope that I can always appreciate each one for what it was and is, see the good in it always.

A very powerful past connection will always hold a very special place in my heart and always have a piece of my heart.  It was a mega roller coaster for both of us for different reasons.  If we had met under different circumstances, at a different time, had perhaps greater maturity it would have turned out quite differently.  I am pretty sure it would have worked out quite differently.  Being an empath and such, I never have doubted they love me, never.  I still have an empathic, psychic connection with them, and being an empath likely will my whole life, which is fine.  It is what it is. As for the relationship, any memories, I don’t focus on the negative, but rather on the fact that it was a catalyst to opening my heart, spirit and soul in ways I never had in life done so, it opened me up raw and I am grateful for that.  Granted their political leaning, being liberal progressive still makes want to scream and shake them, smack them hard upside the head, but I will still always be grateful they were in my life.  I wish they had been able to create a happy for themselves, be themselves open of heart, spirit and soul to the extent they opened me up raw and start a whole new life, a brilliantly happy one.  If I had one wish for them, for everyone I have a deep connection, or an amazing psychic and heart connection to, it is exactly that.  What of present day connections?  There is one connection that is like a very comfy flowing river, very calm, very peace and though we have only had friendly conversations over the past few years when I have gone to see them professionally there is a connection also on a psychic level, on an empath level with this person as well and though I feel they would love to build a friendship and we could be BFFs, they have been working on getting unstuck for some time, something many of us can relate to, having periods in life of feeling stuck, trying to get unstuck and that includes in terms of relationships, forming new ones, even friendships, in general.  They have asked I keep them up to date on my artistic projects and all that, which I do, holidays I send holiday greetings and hopefully this year will be the year when our BFF journey, lifelong Best Friend Forever journey starts.   I don’t sense it going beyond that, just a gut feeling.  Then there is the creative connection, the one that inspired me to fly, that gave me wings to fly and pursue in earnest my creative path and now to become more focused to choose the sacred arts, someone that there is a lot of empathic connection to, a very dynamic electricity connection to.   The potential for a deep lifelong friendship, creative collaboration…….. is there, but they are so closed within themselves, so scared, guarded etc… they may never let me or anyone in.  Pity, as it also closes him off artistically to the audience.   I have reached out as much and far as I can even as a friend, and friendship has to be the basis for all things, but I can’t do anymore than what I have done, so I am stepping away, stepping back and if this artist wants a friendship, to build a deep and solid friendship, an artistic collaboration, anything, he will have to break down all his walls at some point, or there can’t be anything.

In life I have been able now to look at different connections, step back and really look at them objectively in a sense and I guess that is a good thing, at least I hope it is.  

Shalom and Amen