Pray For Me Tonight -A Poem

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Pray For Me Tonight -A Poem

 

There are days when the fog is go heavy, I can barely think through the day. There are days when it seems knives are being thrown at me every which way, but I wont lay down and die. Maybe it’s karma comin back to get its’ due, I don’t really know. I do know I have to stand tall and fight through the darkness to the light.

I look to heaven and ask whoever can hear me whispering now.

 

Pray for me tonight,

pray with everything you got.

The pain piercing through,

straight to the heart.

Pray for me tonight,

cause I’m fightin the devil with everything I got.

 

I’m breathing deep and fighting to stay where I am, maybe it’s not what it seems, but it feels that way tonight. It hurts so bad just to take a breath, and each breath is a knife cutting through the soul. Funny thing is even now, the one thing I think about is that one great love, the one that broke me. Funny the workings of the heart and the soul, funny what goes through your head.

I look to heaven and ask whoever can hear me whispering now.

 

Pray for me tonight,

pray with everything you got.

The pain piercing through,

straight to the heart.

Pray for me tonight,

cause I’m fightin the devil with everything I got.

 

I wrote this poem after a very rough night of pain etc.., a night when my fibromyalgia hit me hard, hard as can be and I wrote it the next morning and this gives you a sense of what it can do to a person when it’s full onslaught flare up. 

 

 

I Will Listen -Poem

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I Will Listen

 

I know I tore your dreams apart,

Destroyed them into a million grains of sand,

That run through your finger,

Which you couldn’t capture,

Or hold in your hand.

I couldn’t see your pain,

Though you cried out,

In a million different ways.

Didn’t give your dreams,

I fighting chance.

I promise you,

From this day on,

I will listen.

 

I will listen.

I will listen to your voice.

And help you bring your dream,

To the Lord.

I will listen.

 

There is nothing impossible,

And the dream,

A mustard seed,

Given from the

Creator of us all,

Can move mountains,

Hearts and souls.

Though it may not seem

Possible at first,

I now know,

That with

Faith and courage,

It can be

The greatest beacon of light.

I promise you,

From this day on,

I will listen.

 

I will listen.

I will listen to your voice.

And help you

bring your dream,

To the Lord.

I will listen.

 

We often don’t listen to the Holy Spirit of Elohim, to that inner voice, our authentic selves and thus we spin round and round, and never truly live in authentic true love, true joy, true happiness etc… May we learn to always live in authentic sacred truth, true vocation and find true love, when we do, recognize it, and embrace it wisely.

 

Turtle Two

Beautiful piece of art. I love sharing when I come across lovely art.

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mosaic-of-life-and-faith-in-poems-katherine-appello/1119969210?ean=2940149797943

 

It also made me think and reflect.  The turtle is I think like people in some ways.  We show the world a hard tough exterior and are very slow to show the true self because we fear the true self means weakness, means non-acceptance etc…. We take our time in opening up, or even in seeing  friendship true,  true love right in front of us, in accepting it, in pursuing our dreams.  We take time, too much time and so the adage of “you snooze, you loose” becomes the banner and pattern of one’s life.  in some areas, yet in others we throw all caution to the wind, but not necessarily in wise ways, only later, much later do we realize all of this.  Better late than never is another saying and it’s true.  The slow and steady wins the race to some extent has validity, but not if it is out of fear or any negative emotions driving it.  

Kudos to the artist for the beauty of the art, but also inspiring me to think and reflect through this piece of art.

 

Scared Little Boy

Scared Little Boy, Thinks He’s a Man

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoU7OWwCHlM

This is a recording I made of the poem I wrote a while back. As often happens when you are an intuitive and do lots of meditation, and prayer in your life, stuff just comes to you and this song  just came to me. Remember, you never deserve to be mistreated, never.  

Always remember the sacredness of your being, your body, spirit, your soul and honor it, guard it wisely, prayerfully.  Remember always that you are IMAGO DEI.  You are not God, but in his image and a vessel for his Holy Spirit, so treat yourself as such, and that person who says “I love you”, make sure from now on they treat you and your body as sacred, a sacred vessel of Elohim.

Shalom and Amen

 

In The Blink Of An Eye-Poem

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mosaic-of-life-and-faith-in-poems-katherine-appello/1119969210?ean=2940149797943

In The Blink Of An Eye

 

Time is swift and sometimes we don’t even blink when the entire world comes tumbling down.

We wonder if we created enough memories, so that those we love will never be forgotten.

We never want to forget their eyes and their smile, what made them who they were.

We look for other anguished, grief filled hearts that can understand how the world can come crumbling down in the blink of an eye.

We wont ever forget and the memories will we carry to the end of our own journey.

 

In the blink of an eye the shadow comes and obscures the light, for a while.

In the blink of an eye, everything we knew is taken away.

In the blink of an eye, what was once what we touch becomes part of memory.

 

We look for answers, a way to understand, but sometimes that never comes.

What we must understand is that to everything there is a time, a time to live and a time to die.

We may never know how or when the shadow of time will come and seemingly take away the light in our lives.

We wont ever forget and the memories will we carry to the end of our own journey.

 

In the blink of an eye the shadow comes and obscures the light, for a while.

In the blink of an eye, everything we knew is taken away.

In the blink of an eye, what was once what can touch becomes part of memory.

 

I wrote this shortly after 9/11, which I lived through up close, as I lived in NOHO and you could see the planes hit the towers from my rooftop.  I lived with the streets closed of for two weeks, and needing to show ID to men with AK 47 rifles to get past barricades on my block to get into my building my home.   History repeats itself because we do forget and we don’t learn, we keep hating and having radical ideologies and being stupid.

 

Having a Plan B

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LWGZF1A

https://www.wavecloud.com/book/mosaic-life-and-faith-poems/978-1-62217-168-2/12737926

Plan B, Always a Good Idea

Plan A was a One Woman Show at Cornelia Street Cafe, but so far I haven’t heard back, after sending an email and a proposal for the show. I will send a follow up email next week and then give them another week.  However, what if that’s not where I am supposed to do my show, but also creative and spiritual intuitive sensitive being? What’s my plan B?

My plan B is The Actor’s Chapel, St Malachy’s Church in Midtown.  A similar email and proposal, for a One Woman Christmas Show and the Ticket includes a copy of the expanded print version of  “Mosaic of Life and Faith in Poems”, as well as a meet and greet after the show, where I will discuss my journey of faith and dysautnomia, with appetizers and refreshments included.  This event could take place in early November 2014. I have already made initial contact with the pastor there for another reason, so I will contact him today or Monday.

Plan B doesn’t mean you don’t believe in yourself or such.  It just means you give yourself options, that’s all.

Mosaic Sample and New Poem

Mosaic Sample and New Poem

Time to Let Go

It’s said that adversity is a great teacher and may be cause it taught me a lot about me.

I’m ready to take all that and start to live the life I always dreamed down deep in my soul,

One of love, music and words for the whole world to share.I need to be flying, laughing, loving and living and can’t do that if I keep doing what I was doing.

Ready to finally be me, be true to  me, who I am.

 

Do I Stay or Walk Away?

As I perceive and receive in prayer and contemplation, even just spontaneous telepathy and intuition,

And as I hear the inner dialogue, as in a play, a question keeps arising in my heart and in my soul,

It is one that has been in question for so long, and  unanswered,

But I know at some point must be answered, even if it shatters my heart once and for all.

Do I walk away or do I stay?

 

I wrote the first one as I finally came to grips with the Fibromyalgia and realized it was a second or even a third chance.  It was the chance to finally be what God meant me to be, who God meant me to be.  

I wrote the second one spontaneously today.  It just came to me, just suddenly and I know that it a question that all of face at some point in life in regards to some situation.  Sometimes the answer we are left with is gut wrenching and heartbreaking and sometimes not.  Sometimes the other person will surprise us, or they may let us down, the final straw.  We’ll give it one more chance.

The Title – Mosaic….

Why Mosaic?

Titles matter because they reflect the essence of the project, the core, so in trying to determine the title for this book, I had to figure out what it reflected. 

I originally was going to use the word Journey, but then decided not to.  Life is a journey from beginning to end and my journey has not ended, so it didn’t seem to fit, I had to go back and look at the poems and my life, observations so on and so forth.  I prayed, contemplated and the Holy Spirit inspired the word Mosaic.  A mosaic is a patter produced by small pieces of glass of various colors and such pieced together and my life has been that and for a lot of us in the arts, and whose parents divorced, deal with syndromes, have searched for spiritual truth for a long time we are a Mosaic.   Some of the pieces are painful, some are joyful, and some in between, but they sum up to make us who we are.   You see, life is also a Mosaic of experiences that makes us who we are with various experiences, friendships etc…, so it seemed quite appropriate to use this title. 

I look forward to future experiences that will contribute to other projects of art that I can share with you, other mosaics.

The Journey That Led to “Mosaic…”

Journey Leading to “Mosaic…”

For a number of years I had a series of health issues, including thyroid, gastric issues, and arthritis like pain and tender points, fatigue, which just got worse over time.  In Fall of 1994, I stumbled into teaching, though I had always in the back of my mind and deep in my heart, spirit and soul known the arts was my true vocation, and searched for my place in the world.  The health issues got worse and worse, finally it was becoming more and more difficult to work, and keep it together at work, so my mother suggested I see her doctor and she diagnosed Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue, which I still didn’t know was under the umbrella of a Dysautonomia.  It got to the point where I was literally falling apart in front of the students unable to recall what a verb or adjective was and couldn’t lift my arm to write on the board from the intense pain.  It was pretty bad and I was becoming snippy with everyone.   

As it became clear I couldn’t work, I was forced to go on SSDI and thus began the journey.  My lifelong friend Kim suggested that I do something with the arts, as that was something that had always been a constant in my life, so I started doing rough recordings of my songs/poems with improv melodies and putting them out there.  The songs started getting licensed and I then realized after seeing posts online about others and their frustration at how they were dismissed with what they were going through, even by doctors at times, and finding out about the Dysautonomia that I could use the arts to be a voice, for that, to dedicate myself to the arts.

I  then decided to put together the songs, add a few more pieces in Italian and Spanish also and you have “Mosaic of Life and Faith in Poems”.  I have already mapped out several future projects, which I pray the Lord will allow me the privilege to complete over the next two years.  Life and even love may turn me inside out and upside down, but I will always have my faith and the arts, be a voice of hope and inspiration for others.

Mosaic Samples-Poetry

Mosaic Samples -Theme Love

Sky Eyes

You came into my life, one cold afternoon
As I walked that clanky subway home.
Yet, I never imagined,
What a fateful meeting that would be
And when I saw you again,
My heart skipped a beat or two.

Don’t Want Retribution or Revenge

Sometimes, when I think how love can turn to hate,
I have to hold my breath,
So they don’t hear me cry.
I don’t want to live with that poison in this world.
I wanna live fearless,
In a world where everyone lives in love and peace.

The first one I wrote for someone who turned my life and heart inside out, and was a catalyst for a lot of personal growth.  Some connections just blow you away and turn life upside down and inside out, change you, force you to grow and grow up, God uses them to force change, and they don’t always make sense. 

The second one is an observation of how people can turn bitter on life after a bad experience and how I really prayed I would never allow anything like that to happen to me and I think I have succeeded.  I may hate what people do, but I pray for the Shalom of every person and their transformation in and through Christ every day.