Depression etc…Do Speak, Don’t They?

She Did Tell You.png

Of course immediately some wanted to make it about gunns, which it isn’t about that.  As I watched the news about what happened in Florida, I heard some things over and over being said about the shooter.   It was said he was very socially awkward, even the uncool kids, even the ones who were unpopular, not part of the “in” group rejected him.  His behavior so inappropriate, even they wanted nothing to do with him.  There were issues of psychological nature going on there and my questions immediately were:  Didn’t his adoptive family see that?  If they did early on, what was done about it?  Did educators recommend any kind of psychiatric therapy etc..?  Did the parents follow through?  What was going in in this home? Was there any spectrum of autism?”  I ask that due to the fact that he would make very inappropriate comments to fellow students, as was pointed out, and if this was a patterns, if he did this with them, teachers etc.., just made me wonder about that.  What about the school saying they were not aware, schools officials saying so?  Really, you had no clue, none, even though he was ostracized from even the uncool kids group?  I find that hard to believe.   Signs are often there, and sometimes they are very blatant, other times changes in behavior that are chalked up to “just being a teen, or you know how teenagers are?” well not always the smartest attitude.  I am not saying even kids, teens can’t have an off day, but if there are a good number of recurring “off” days, and lots of isolation happening, something is not kosher.  We need to pay attention, then see from prayer and guidance, as well as perhaps advice from very trusted people what we should be doing.  To pretend stuff will get better on its’ own because we want it to, is not a plan.  As we weep for the victims let’s not excuse what he did, or any shooter does in these circumstances, but let’s understand in these situations what the phrase “love your enemy” means.  Again, it does not mean you excuse or cover up bad or even downright criminal behavior, but it does mean you recognize that in these cases these very lost souls have also destroyed their own lives in the process and any life destroyed in this way, that makes God weep.


Everyone Can Teach You Something

We Learn From Everyone.jpg

Some will teaching what to do in life, how to be wise, and some will teach you what not to do, what it means to be dumb and foolish. Since we are not perfect, we are a mix of emotion and intellect, both are going to be people we come across in life. Both have value.  Observing how one person’s behavior is destructive, self destructive is important and hopefully we don’t do the same, and doing the opposite in one whose behavior is constructive on different or a number of levels including and especially spiritually is important.    Don’t just look at those with positive behavior, also look at what you can learn from those with negative behavior, they can also teach you, teach you what not to do.  For example the Bible talks of people being Stiff Necked, stubborn had to have it their way, live it their way etc… and his precepts, way of things, guidance be damned, well didn’t bode well for them.  Stiff necked with God, or even with people who have wise profound life and spiritual wisdom, not a good idea, at least listen, meditate on what is said. Let yourself learn from others what you should and should not do or how to and not to behave, positive and negative patterns.

Shalom and Amen

I hope you will also check out my youtube channel, where one of my song professionally produced has been posted and another professionally produced will also soon be posted.

Loving Yourself, What Does It Mean?

Loved Herself

As a person of faith, I understand that I will stumble and fall, and I understand that I have made some lousy choices in my life.  I have been lost and searching for my center, only in the last year or two found it.  I realize I am not perfect, will never be perfect.  However, as a child of the Most High, I realize that it is a privilege that He thought I was worthy of being created.  As my parent he would want me to make good choices, decisions, would encourage me to do so, provide solid advice for doing so, which he does in Biblical truth.  This also means that I need to value this very much, as well as my God given gifts, talents, apply them rightly with ethics and integrity.  I need to value myself as a sacred temple in all my actions, choices etc…, It means no one has the right to harm, use or abuse me in any way, that I have no right to harm myself either.  Life has thorns, no denying that, but if I remember that I am the beautiful rose loved worthy of being created, and understand that of others, though I may not agree with their worldview, actions and lifestyle because they are contrary to biblical truth, I have an obligation to somehow share this view with them, but how I do it matters.  How I share with others matters.  I hope I can achieve full understanding of this and grow as a person, an artist and in all things, this understanding as a core principle. 


God’s Voice VS. Satan’s

God Vs Satan Voice

When liberals say that one should not judge or condemn and use one or two bible quotes, argue that God loves no matter one and he never judges, not accurate.  Why not?

If you refuse to judge, to discern lifestyle and worldview according to biblical truth all of it, not just the parts you want to use for living life as you please, only as you please or refuse to see clearly America’s for example First Principles of the founding, that John Locke a devout Christian, was a strong influence on the founders of this nation, then you do yourself and others a grave disservice, a disservice to the heart, spirit and soul.  This includes judging not in a paralyzing life way, but in an honest assessment way one’s lifestyle and views.  If you come to understand truth, and then don’t share it clearly, firmly with others, you do them a disservice.  I prefer to share through my blog and the arts, others might share through direct ministry, but to not share truth, the truth that your worldview and lifestyle matter a great deal to God is not love.  Love means you share the truth, even if the person does not like that truth, especially when it comes to scripture truth. 


Expectations, Blessing or Not?



Expectations, we all have them, not necessarily a negative thing, is it? well depends.  Depends, depends on what, either you do or you don’t have them?  Either they’re good or they’re bad, work or they don’t?  Well, no, not that simple.

We can each define ambition and progress for ourselves. The goal is to work toward a world where expectations are not set by the stereotypes that hold us back, but by our personal passion, talents and interests.

Sheryl Sandberg 

Let’s start with expectations of self.  We can be our own worst critics, our harshest taskmasters.   Shouldn’t we have expectations of ourselves, goals?  Yes, but at the same time, what should they be?  We all have innate gifts, talents our creator gave us, and understanding the needs of humanity, understood we could not all be given the same gifts and even within the category of those gifts not at the same level of capacity.  What should we expect from ourselves?  When I taught ESL one of the mottos we gave students was KISS, Keep It Simple Sweetheart.  In the case of personal expectations the best expectation is to discover what your God given talents and gifts are, find constructive opportunities to develop them and use them in your lifetime to your benefit and benefit of the greater society, one where all have the opportunity to develop their talents etc…  Also, give yourself space to stumble and fall, get up again, wiser, stronger than before, with greater faith than before. 

Whatever happens in the world is real, what one thinks should have happened is projection. We suffer more from our fictitious illusion and expectations of reality.

Jacque Fresco

What about others, expectations of others?  Often we go back to what others should have done, over and over.  We put high expectations on others, very specific laundry list on them of what they should do to prove themselves to us etc..  What if we just had the same expectation of them that I spoke of having for ourselves? What if we expected realization of potential and might I add for self, no victimization crap, accepting that yeah life has moments that really frankly are YUK, and UGGHHHH!, cry, scream into the pillow, beat up the pillow, go to the gym and punch the punching bag, exercise, get it out constructively, make changes to life, behavior etc.., be an example to others of expectation on how to handle tough moments. Expect them to learn and move forward, process and move forward with what was learned, keep growing, learning, realizing their full potential, be a better person.  What if that was the basic expectation we had, nothing more, and relayed that clearly, all we expected was develop and live up to your full potential, which I know exists, just have to find it and cultivate it, through thick and thin, be there for them to do so?  Something to contemplate. 


Why Sing Out Your Stress?

soaring eagle

This is a follow up to the previous article.  We all have stress, rejection so on and so forth at some point.  One reason I love to sing and write is it helps me to navigate the stress of fibromyalgia.  When I came across this article, it resonated and I wanted to share with you.

Top 5 Reasons to Sing Out Your Stress

When people find out that I’m a music therapist, the comments I hear most often are “I wish I could sing!” or “Oh, I love to sing, but I’m not good enough to do it in front of anyone”. Some of these people tell me that, as children, a parent, teacher or someone else told them that they should just mouth the words because they didn’t have a good enough voice.

Singing is our birthright! Singing is a natural and pure expression of how glad we feel to be alive, and the way we show our love of music. Here are my top five reasons to sing out your stress:

1. To connect with your body: We sing with our whole bodies. Because singing is so connected to closely with breath, singing helps us “be in our bodies” and let go of the thinking (or worrying) we do much of the day. Singing can be a joyful activity and can release endorphins (those feel-good chemicals that the body creates).

2. To connect with yourself: Meditative toning, singing along to a favourite song or simply humming to yourself are all ways to tap into your inner landscape and see what’s going on in there.

3. To connect with others: Singing with other people – in meditation, prayer, at a sing-along, at a concert, or even over the telephone or Internet – helps us experience in a very deep way that we are all truly connected.

4. To express your feelings: Many times a singer, songwriter or composer has expressed our feelings in a way we could never have – if there’s a song that expresses what you want or need to say, try singing along (keep in mind that this is just for you and it’s not about “sounding good”).

5. To boost your good feelings: Whatever you focus on, you’ll invite more of into your life. You can choose uplifting, joyful and celebratory songs to sing.

So sing out! Be proud of your own unique voice. Experiment with what works for you – keep a journal of what you notice in your mind and body when you sing specific songs. Then you can choose the right song for the right moment and make use of the power of singing in your own life.

Christ Consciousness through You

Christ Consciousness

Being religious is sometimes different than being spiritual. Some of you might disagree, but trust me; it is a different road sometimes. What we are meant to do is to balance each. Being too spiritual might make us self-centered. It isolates us from real world. Religion on the other hand makes us a proper human and allows us to use the spiritual teachings in pragmatic way. None is better without other. However, as has been the case of centuries, the religion has been used by higher authorities as tool to manipulate. Hence we receive so much hate on religious topics by some of modern age spiritualists…

Enough with the above, as the topic suggests, I would like to hand you a fundamental truth in this set of sentences which comes straight from my heart. Religion as I mentioned has been used to seek source of help outside self multiple times. I have seen people with a lot of hardships coming to priests for their prayers and begging them to save them from punishment of God. Someone should tell them that the hardships are blessings in disguise.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the job of few priests who try to affirm such people that God is not punishing them rather testing them. I love the idea of asking someone else to pray for you. But tell me one thing… God forbid you go through a hardship somewhere where you are all alone, with no church or priest… what will you do then?

It is time to realize the fundamental truth that great Master, the Anointed one, Messiah, Son of God, Jesus taught us in his life and after. The real divine is within you. Seeking God outside your own self will drag you in for multiple disappointments. It is when we realize that God is within us, and then we start to change. Jesus was Lord’s son as believed by Christian faith. He channeled God through himself. What if I told you that the notion that Jesus was only son was wrong…God is consciousness. He is everywhere. Therefore He is within you too. And as Master Jesus taught, you too possess the God-like capabilities within you.

Christ Consciousness is the stage of enlightenment, wisdom . It is merging with God and realizing that the Divine God is not in outside sources. God exists within us. God can be accessed by self-realization. Such is the beauty of Christ Consciousness. To become closer and merge with God, you have to realize your own power and control. Stating as such, it is no surprise that Christ Consciousness is a personal and self-sought experience which is obtained after filling your heart with desire of love of Jesus and Lord. The divine state of Christ Consciousness works through you. That being said, you need to figure out how to awaken such state for self-empowerment to collaboration with the heavenly hosts and thus to be able to actively and pro-actively work with the Lord for the greater good of your life and life in general.. Meditate on Jesus. Dedicate yourself to prayer to Lord daily. It is then your heart will start opening to realization of Loving God who is always with you, watching over you, looking after you.

Core Beliefs, What Are They?

Garden Path

If you look at this garden path, it seems to be leading up to a memorial of some kind, or a central monument, something, a centerpiece, well as I looked back on my life I realized that what makes me me is not a church, or a building, membership in any particular one, though community matters and I am sure there is one that reflects who I am and these core beliefs.  I realized for me to be well, I had to get straight what they are and then focus on honoring them very constructively.  What are they?

The Universal Moral Laws/Noahoide Laws =  1. One God,  2.Respect the creator one God (do so even when nothing seems to make sense around you and you are ticked off at him for how he allows things or manages things), 3. Respect life (doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to defend self, family, community property, nation if attacked, you do), 4. Respect the institution of marriage. (one man and one woman as instituted by God, don’t mess with that dimwitted humanity!), 5. Respect the rights and property of others and honest in all your business dealings. 6. Respect G‑d’s creatures (life is precious, so respect it, never take a life in cold blood, and never out of vengeance),maintain justice.  7. Justice is G‑d’s business, but we are given the charge to lay down necessary laws and enforce them

Christ, Anointing and Prayer – I believe Christ was begotten, not made and that he had a very special anointing, to give a very particular example of sacrifice for others in away that others were not for a particular purpose, that he did not come to abolish the Nohaite Laws, but rather to reinforce them for Jew and Gentile, bring all together under the Nohaite laws.  I believe that prayer whether a Mass or reading of scripture and prayer from the heart, wither way is pleasing to the Creator, one creator of all things.

Metaphysics and the branch of metaphysics in various forms can be very informative and helpful in spiritual and personal development

Prayer and the Arts – The arts is the greatest form of prayer there is, when it is sacred and beautifully presented and from the heart.  

Charity and Welfare – If we truly want to bring welfare then let’s bring all of the above and let’s help people to help themselves to prosper in all ways, on all levels including financially discovering and focusing their gifts.

I realize now that I need to create a life that focuses on these things, and activities that will allow me to work in a group setting, perhaps a a c0working space, rent that monthly and have that sense of community, but still focus on the arts and doing workshops online, things of that nature, maybe there even create a spiritual meditation circle.  I need to do what I need to do to honor this core of who I am and live it on a day to day basis.

The Slice or The Pie?

pie chart

It finally dawned on me, where the clash came from.  The pie or the pieces of the pie?  Huh, what the heck?  What am I talking about? Perspective.

I am approaching something from not only the aspect of keeping my word, but also having taught for over ten years the point of the whole pie, no matter what role you play in any organization, group, project, you look at the whole.  Though the ESL Lab TA’s were not the classroom teachers, we still had to teach the lesson plans given and at times we were asked our opinion, and when we taught after, we had to give holistic feedback to the classroom instructor.  If we thought there was anything outside of the academics that needed addressing, we made our voices heard on that, yours truly every time without fail, and firmly, to where the supervisors would tell the instructors in regards having me as TA for their class, just don’t mess with her babies, with what she cares about, she is fierce in fighting for and protecting that.  I was and in the sense of the whole picture, even in my advice to them, never to look at anything piecemeal, to always look at everything from the entire pie approach, even as they focused on their individual assignments.  I always told them to look at how this was going to benefit them in the long run years ahead and their children, everyone in their lives long term, never think only of now, of today, of this one class, how things tie together.  For our advanced ESL classes we paired up with other departments to teach things in broader context, as we realized nothing is ever in isolation and we were not the only ones responsible for teaching ESL, the other departments were also responsible in assisting in this and we also had to take responsibility for expanding their horizons.  

As I reflected last night on things, on recent events with a colleague I realized what was going on was the Pie and the Pieces.  He is one who does not look at things long range,  or from a holistic perspective in regards to his role in the parish.  He feels that things ought to be dealt with one piece at a time, worry about that piece then move on to the next piece then the next piece of the Pie Chart, keep doing that, no connection to the whole pie, no responsibility for the whole pie the baking of it, keeping it warm or cool or anything, just the Pieces of the Pie.  I on the other hand am looking at the whole Pie, how do we bake a whole pie, pay for the cost of the whole pie, then the pieces fall into place and how is our pie connected to the major baker, our mother Basilica and how do we cooperate and collaborate with them to grow.  For my colleague my pie approach, looking at the whole and being willing to do so, and put that forward is a bit overwhelming since Pieces of a Pie are a lot easier to work with at any one time than a Whole Pie, as some see it.  However, others that are to collaborate with the organization, project etc…often get frustrated if the approach taken is Piecemeal and only Piecemeal, if things are not coordinated among all related entities and for the long range, so while I understand that some, like my colleague prefer to work according to the Piecemeal approach, if one is asked to present a Whole Pie in order to save the organization, project etc.. and if those who are to collaborate also would require attention to the Whole Pie as well as the Pieces of the Pie, to dismiss that and ignore that is highly dismissive to everyone involved.  Holistic, long term shows seriousness and maturity, and when asked to move forward with that approach and not to do so, it says to those in authority who make that suggestion, screw you, could be viewed that way.  I will leave it to my colleague to take a piecemeal approach, though it has not worked so far, and will assist as best I can.  At the same time I will keep my word to put forth a holistic plan and pray for that to be a positive tool to be used for the organization to move forward for the long haul and to thrive.


Conservative Is Now Criminal?

a dark room

We have entered dark dark dark days when our society glorifies in academia all things Alynsky, Chavez, Fidel Castro, Lenin, Stalin, Woodstock Free Love and Promiscuity, the LGBT lifestyle, along those lines of Philosophy, Worldview, Atheism, BLM, and determined that if you vote along the opposite of that, hold opposite truth, you are evil, a criminal in essence and if you live in NY, our very own governor has said there’s no room for you and CNN has said you are a racist. 

In their eyes I am a racist, but in my eyes I am a Conservative Catholic, authentic Conservative NON wonky, not warped Social Justice, authentic Conservative Catholic Christian.  Imperfect, fallen as we are all of humanity, but authentic Conservative Catholic Christian who would love to overhaul the entire Disability system, all of it, to truly reflect our being a Capitalist Constitutional Democratic Republic.  For some warped reason the Left has convinced the nation and our young people, so has academia that Conservative means racist, that Constitutional Originalist and Federalist Papers, Federalist Republic First Principles Capitalist Founders Worldview and Vision for the nation as such is racist, everything is racist, bigoted, and everything is painful and traumatic, poor snowflakes, even journalists have breakdowns on air on election night, this the point of pathetic we have gotten to.  What does Conservative represent, truly?  In the classical sense, it is really connected to the Judeo-Christian principle of Free Will.  It is the sense that God gave us free will, will to choose good or evil, and there are consequences to that. It is the sense that the government is not a nanny, a jailer, parent for life, just like a parent is not a parent for life, in that they must not micromanage your life if you are to truly become strong, resilient and self managing in your own life.  They must not nanny you to death, smother you to death, cradle you to death or you will not be strong, self sufficient and resilient.  They must not be too co-dependent on you, nor make you too dependent on them, same with spouses, not good.  Government is here only to be a steward of our rights and borders, to ensure that the Bill of Rights, the provisions of the Constitution, according to the Federalist Papers and a Capitalist Republic, based on the principles of morals and ethics put forth in the writings by the founders for a Godly people are safeguarded tot he best of its’ abilities, understanding of principles of natural law and transcendent moral order. It was understood that true conservative principles and liberalism in any classic sense could only happen in this way: securing the freedom of the individual by limiting the power of the government and ensuring the branches never overlap and the courts never become places for activism by any group or persons, ever!  Because the Left has pushed boundaries so far this has not been the case and so Conservatives have been forced to push back in courts right alongside them in terms of using the courts for activism, not by choice, but being pushed along that route by the ACLU and other Left Wing groups, and even the Obama administration that went after the Little Sisters of the Poor.  We need to understand what truly Liberal and Conservative are, and realize they are not criminal nor intolerant, but they do have a sense of natural law, natural moral law and order ingrained in them, national borders and laws that are not to be violated etc…

While I understand the radical KKK is not something anyone wants to be associated with, that is not representative of Conservatives, not of authentic Conservatism, nor is modern liberal progressive representative of true Liberalism or the LGBT community of the Civil Rights Movement, or MLK, nor is Planned Parenthood or abortion, none of it is.  Those who try to say otherwise are deceivers, despicable and are commuting the crime.  Those who are authentic Conservatives, authentic Conservative Catholic, authentic Liberal, Kudos and don’t allow the intolerant so called progressives to beat you down, or intimidate you, stand strong and stand tall.