I have greater clarity after meditating on this that my core spiritual self rejects organized religion with lots of bureaucracy and hypocrisy, yet I do want community, but I am also not really feeling up to spending the two years or so learning new rituals, a new faith etc.., nothing complicated anyway. If I look at the threat of my life, the two things that are constant are Metaphysics and Meditation, on my spiritual journey anyway. Therefor, what do I do now? Do I just go back to Roman Catholicism just because it’s what I am familiar with? Do I pursue Jewish studies, that faith path, which means a whole new way of living, which in my household with a very Catholic Italian mom is not too easy, add my special diet and all that, gets tricky, very tricky. I firmly believe in God, firmly embrace Yeshua as my Rebbe, my Teacher, all of that, a strong anchor for me, Mashiach. It comes back to the threat and both are positive ones, they are quite Zen and in meditating, I like to do chakra meditations or a particular type of very easy going exercise while listening to sacred music, instrumental. I also happen to be a stickler for this quote, even if I have fallen prey now and again to relative morality, not a good thing I assure you. I happen to be a stickler for living up to this: ” A system of morality which is based on relative emotional values is a mere illusion, a thoroughly vulgar conception which has nothing sound in it and nothing true.”, courtesy of Socrates. I also happen to be a warrior, not one to not say what I have to say and if you don’t like it, not my problem. What do I do with all this? Oye!
Like I said I look to the threads. I need to focus on my wellbeing, releasing the fibromyalfia and some other stuff from my system and life. The things that help me release, center besides meditating on connection to Yeshua, to Christ, to that anointing are philosophy and meditation, active, not passive meditation. Therefor, seems to me that I need to find a place near home, which I have that offers Zen meditation, hatha yoga and I can engage in that and as I do the meditating etc… focus on connection to the Trinity, cleansing of self and life, healing in Yeshua. I will never let go of Yeshua as my personal anchor and Rebbe, nor will I not study scripture independently, but right now I have to focus on my coaching studies, and my health/wellness, so I can have a New Year with a better state of wellness and prepared to be the best Holistic Life/Relationship Coach I can be.
Shalom and Amen