Can’t Make You Whole

Can't Make Homes of Humans.jpg

We often seek others to make us whole, to make us feel whole, but that is not another person’s job, no human can really make you whole, or healed.  Another can be a catalyst, a prompt for that journey, but they can not heal you.  Only we can heal us through accepting what is, was, needs changing and all that.  If we keep pushing someone to be the magic cure for us to be whole etc… eventually we will crush them under that weight.  We need to figure out how to be whole within our own journey in life, not look to another to be a magic formula to make us whole or anything like that.  An authentic, cultivated spiritual life can be of great help along the journey, so I love listening for example to this youtube channel and others like this to connect to the spiritutal in life.  I hope that we all come to wholeness within ourselves as Sons and Daughters of the Most High, The Creator of this amazing universe.


Science, All the Answers?


We lost a great scientific mind Hawkins, and now doubt science matters, even the Vatican has a conservatory and engages in scientific research and those of the church engage in scientific reasoning along with biblical truth.  Those who can not will not open up to the Holy Spirit, to Holy Spirit truth, to scripture truth will stay within the realm of science only.  They will dismiss First Cause, saying it is not necessary to have a First Cause.  However there is a problem with that.

Human beings are supposed to operate on reason, on induction, deduction all that jazz.  What happens when you say there is no need for a First Cause or First Principles to examine and explain creation?  You violate reason, violate inductive and deductive reasoning.  Peter Kreeft put it well when he says “If there seems to be no physical cause, we look for a psychological cause: perhaps someone hypnotized us. As a last resort, we look for a supernatural cause, a miracle. But there must be some cause. We never deny the Principle of Sufficient Reason itself. No one believes the Pop Theory: that things just pop into existence for no reason at all. Perhaps we will never find the cause, but there must be a cause for everything that comes into existence.  the whole universe is a vast, interlocking chain of things that come into existence. Each of these things must therefore have a cause. My parents caused me, my grandparents caused them, et cetera. But it is not that simple. I would not be here without billions of causes, from the Big Bang through the cooling of the galaxies and the evolution of the protein molecule to the marriages of my ancestors.”  The sciences can tell us how, the mechanisms of creation of the universe, but not the who or even the why it was all created, why we were created, why we have emotions etc…It’s all links in a chain and the chain has to start somewhere with someone having created the first link.  St Thomas, though indirectly gives excellent arguments for First Cause.   If there is no first cause, then like saying I come from a poof in the air, so do my parents, their parents.  Though Hawkins was a beyond capable scientist he failed to acknowledge and fully appreciate, accept the need for First Cause, First Principles.  Neuroscience has tried over and over again and failed for example to explain consciousness.  Why, because all science is an external exercise and thus has great limitations.  This article says it well  Science can’t explain, never will be able to explain: the origin of the universe, the origin of the laws of nature, the origin of life and the origin of mind and thought because they transcend anything physical that can be measured.  This is where the spiritual realm can give answers and with solid thological indicutive and deductive reasoning of objective morality etc… provide a great map of it all, a grid. 


What I Miss, Reclaiming It.



Today I took a lovely long walk, something that many would take for granted.  For those with chronic health issues, syndromes it’s something that matters.  When a syndrome leaves you so exhausted, has you in pain on an ongoing basis etc…that you go stretches of time crashing in bed and not being able to even enjoy a walk, sitting outside in your favorite spot, having your ipod and listening to great music and meditation material.  The best nutshell way to describe it is this:  a complete physical, mental, emotional, spiritual assault on your body.  This is one of the things I miss, that Fibromyalgia since it has flared up with a vengeance.  I am hoping to reclaim that and a few other things.  One of the things that  makes those of us fighting chronic health issues and syndromes is when people say stuff like “but you look good”  “maybe if you got out more”  “you just need to push yourself more”  People may mean well, but for us, these sound like what is being said is “you’re faking, lying” and “you’re just lazy, or exaggerating”  My thought when anyone gives the kind of advice or nuggets of wisdom mentioned here is “no you S.O.B. I am not fine, not OK, not lazy, what the hell do you know about it?”  I just want to smack the person and sometimes just want to cry from the frustration.  

What might cause a flare up of Fibromyalgia or these types of syndromes:

Common Fibro Flare Ups

What can you do if your dealing with chronic health issues such as pain, such as fibromyalgia?  Consult your doctor before try anything to alleviate any symptoms etc..  Here are some suggestions, starting with foods.  Try to incorporate anti-inflammatory foods such as:  flaxseed, green tea, avocado, cantaloupe, walnuts, pineapple, berries, garlic, broccoli.  Aromatherapy with certain oils as you meditate, even  in your bath, such as:Balsam Fir, Bergamot, Roman Camomile, Rosemary, Lavender, Eucalyptus, Clary Sage.  As far as exercise, you have to be careful when you have syndromes such as fibromyalgia.  I for example am so hypersensitive I can not do any physical therapy, have any massage other than hot stone massage, do tai chi, walk.  You need to consult your doctors about what type of exercise you can handle, is recommended for you.  If you are crashing a lot, lots of fatigue, you can do some basic very light stretches at home, put on some music that is upbeat and some light dance moves, nothing strenuous, just to get the circulation moving.  For me what also helps is spirituality and meditation, it’s a great anchor in the midst of the chaos that is fibromyalgia.   I hope this helps, and that if you encounter anyone or have anyone with a chronic health issue or syndrome in your life this will help you understand, just a little bit better.  On a final not I leave you with this, the stages of fibromyalgia, but this can apply to any syndrome or chronic health issue situation.

Fibromyalgia Stages.jpg

Oy and Oy!!

Pray, Then What?

Pray Then Let Go

Okay, so you prayed, and prayed, and you prayed, now what?  I meditate and I pray every night, even pray the Anglican Rosary, have created my own meditation of positive affirmations, so where are the inundation of blessings, the miracles and all that I could ask, could, notice I said could.  I could also become angry, bitter, decide there is no God because geen wiz I didn’t get my wish my way when I wanted boo hoo, could.  What purpose would they serve?  None.  Instead what am I doing?  I following strong Holy Spirit guidance of what I am supposed to do with my music and this blog each day after listening to the mediation upon going to bed, listening to it a few times and praying the rosary.  What have I been guided to do, radio, focus on putting the songs up for sale on TuneCore and getting the songs played on radio, with goal of getting interviewed on radio.  I am hoping to also send the music to music blogs once I have the funds for a blitz, major blitz promotional campaign to send a few of my songs to radio and to blogs, have my fiverr virtual assistant take 10 hours or so and dedicate them to that.  I would like to focus my time on the writing, research, the recording.  Prayer is not an automated teller where you put the card in and poof out comes the money, not quick cash thing and it may take a good period of time to get any return on your prayer investment.  Your return on that investment may be a NO answer with nothing but walls and daggers etc.. everything you thought should be for your life shattered, so what ought to be can actually take place.  If we do trust and pray, not force, manipulate shake our fist in anger, defiant to do it and have it our way, some pretty neat stuff can happen, if we let it.  Praying is not really the hard part, the hard part is the trust and let go now, just let go, just let it go, not push, insist upon, just let go.  That doesn’t mean I don’t do what I am guided to do each day or each week, like I have been guided, prompted to offer an online seminar about Releasing Fear the first week of April and I will post details on here about ten days before.  We still do what we are guided to do in meditation and prayer, but in and with total peace.  I know, believe me I know, taht is not an easy thing.

Shalom and Amen

Is the Past Ever Truly Put to Rest?

night sky and stars

The past came has come visiting me these past few weeks, almost like a haunting, like a ghost.  It stays buried for a while, but then either something with the fibromyalgia, something will resurrect the ghosts of the past, all the frustration about not paying attention to God’s plan for me, frustration about letting my childhood stuff cloud my choices etc… into adulthood.  The past should stay in the past, shouldn’t cloud tomorrow, but I realized something.  It has taken away, rather the baggage I have carried has taken away  from me.  It has up to now taken away any sense of safety, of choice, any real sense of the ability to make choices, not the right ones. In essence, what was ahead scared me because what had been had hurt me so much.  Yet, I kept putting myself in relationship and career situations that would hurt me, cause pain, be one wall after another, one obstacle after another.  It is only now that I am coming to understand this fully, this notion of being scared of what was before me, so I didn’t embrace, seek out fully God’s plan for me because I was too hurt by what had been and couldn’t really trust anyone fully, not even God.  Am I in a place of being totally healed, where I can totally trust, even totally trust God?  No, getting close, getting there, but not totally there, not yet.  I am sure God understands and He is quite patient, so I just have to keep walking the journey till I get home, that’s all.   What does home look like? Lots of music and ministry/coaching and lots of smiling as I share God, and the lessons of life with all the world, God’s path for me.

Shalom and Amen

Can You Legislate Ethics etc…?

Hillary's Crime

How often have we seen politicians and others invoke their faith, yet when we look at their political lives or their lives in service to the church we nod our heads in disgust?  How many times have we hung our heads in a sense of defeat at how those in political and religious places on high have committed all manner of sin and transgression, in the case of politicians broken all kinds of laws that if we did the same thing, we would be crucified for, yet they skate off into the sunset untouched?  How many times do we see that laws do exist such as immigration laws, yet they are ignored, or not enforced?  Laws do exist to try and hold us to standards of good conduct etc.. and they should, but can laws alone truly make us an ethical moral society, one of true integrity, abundance, prosperity?  It seems not from the look of things.  Why not, why don’t laws alone work? 

The law alone can’t do two very important things, educate and change hearts.  Those two things are very important.  To educate for example on the foundations of America, including the important role the Christian faith played in it and Western civilization you have to have people open their hearts.  Once the hearts are open, then you can provide accurate education about the history of the nation, of the faith and so much more.  You can also come to an understanding of how to create balance of law and order with empathy, with the discernment that it is best to teach how to fish rather than provide the fish directly, and such.  Having laws, a framework to encourage ethics, integrity etc.. is important, necessary, and enforcement of those laws is also crucial, but that alone won’t do it.  It has to go much deeper, which is why civics, literature studies, the classics, debate and critical thinking teaching used to all be an integral part of education, of formation of youth in schools.  The law does serve to restrain the heartless as MLK aptly put it, so again we do require laws and we do require law and order, national sovereignty, even individual sovereignty, responsibility for our actions etc…  It is also imperative that hearts and souls be transformed to where day to day living is based on a foundation of objective moral ethical truths and integrity, for individuals and societies to thrive.   Without that, the law alone is not going to be enough, will never be enough, never.

Shalom and Amen

Woke Up With a Funny Feeling

Regressing Lost Future.jpg

I have been feeling odd the past few weeks and even wanting to write songs that were not very uplifting, not really, which is not my usual style.  I was not quite sure what was going on, but then today I realized it when I saw this quote.  I realize I regret what could have been and wasn’t, as well as what was and should not have been because I did not listen to sacred truth, guidance, insisting on doing life my way, being impulsive in so many ways.  Decisions were made that were not authentic to the path I was really anointed to be on and I never took the time to really understand what ministry was meant to be in my life, how I was perhaps meant to combine teaching, coaching and the arts, how to train and prepare.  Now, I find myself with a life I don’t recognize as one I thought would be, which is a bit sad.  Not to say I can’t still do something very constructive with it, but if I had really found the right spiritual center early on in my life, had solid spiritual mentorship, followed true Holy Spirit guidance to understand all of this, my choice of where to study and other things would have been different and my life path would have been different.  I would now be living a life as I was meant to live, having been a blessing to a much greater extent.  I do hope that now I can change all that and I can open my heart, spirit and soul fully to total surrender to divine sacred guidance not fighting a fight that can not in the end be won, or if it is won at the cost of my very soul because in fighting against the tide of what I was likely anointed to in life by the Creator I have lost parts of my very soul, of my very self, and my health.  I only just now realize that.   Though it is a sad realization, it is one I have to accept and move forward with the best I can with what I have got from this moment on. and I hope my health can now begin to truly get on the mend.


Only People Mad at You.jpg

It’s easy to live a lie, for any one of us to be determined to not see or hear truth.  The truth, even prophetic, word of knowledge, strongly intuitive, connect the dots, all these truths should be embraced for guidance, should be, but are often not.  Why not? 

We have dreams, illusions and all that jazz going on, so when someone comes at us with any truth that we feel sabotages that, messes with that, we don’t want to hear it, not from the Holy Spirit, not from others.  An article I came across spoke on this subject and pointed out  that besides the defense mechanisms employed with frightening regularity, we have grown into a culture that, despite proclaiming a desire for the truth, would actually prefer to be lied to.  Say what, we want to be lied to?  Think about it, now schools want everyone to feel special so even effort awards are given, all kinds of stuff like this.  The problem the article points out is two fold the problem is twofold: first, as a culture we’ve come to expect to be spared our feelings at the cost of the truth, to be lied to. Second, defense mechanisms and other aspects of perception work to keep the individual in an illusion which is intended to be better than reality.  We tell people white lies all the time to make them feel better, even to ourselves fighting against the path anointed to us, determined to go the path we want at all cost.  We talk about keeping it real, or even receiving divine guidance, inspiration, but many of us might prefer the illusion rather than the reality of things. 

What happens when a friend won’t feed any of that and will give the truth on any level as they see it, are given in word of knowledge for you, any of that?  The person has to be honest enough to say it as is, especially with big picture stuff.  If they are all excited about a certain event, the dress they chose, or ask about weight, well you may have to be a bit diplomatic.  In general if you are going to be a true parent, spouse even friend, you need to be willing to share these types of truths, not in a yelling screaming way, but straight forward as you can.  If the other person is unwilling to embrace that, you may find a cold and frozen wall in front of you.  That’s okay, just keep praying and keep speaking these truths, as certain things go of course be sure you have the factual info.  If you find you feel you always have to say what the other wants to hear, can’t be honest, truthful with that person, well you may have to accept a walking away.  At some point they will realize the truth is preferable to mere illusion.  That is not to say you don’t encourage a person’s gifts etc… but always do so in a way that is of truth, be at peace with that.

Shalom and Amen

True Learning, Bill of Rights, huh?

Northern Lights III

In the days of yore, there was a thing called learning, education and we had something called the Bill of Rights, not sure if anyone remembers the days of yore.  Education if one were to take it down to curriculum alone is to gain knowledge and such, but in days past those things were simply tools, but tools for what?  The actual goal is supposed to be to create citizens, citizens that honor the core principles of the founding of the Republic, that cultural and faith heritage.  It is supposed to train people, as should also the media, to connect the dots on all world events, insure freedom of citizens from the tyranny of government and others, that is the purpose of education.  That was the very wise understanding in the days of yore, as was the understanding that debate, even heated, with passionate very uncomfortable disagreement was crucial.  There are a number of reasons education is failing, money is not one of them, not really.  There are a number of them, such as disrespect for authority, for teaching and learning, a complex society of social media that can create all kinds of distractions, and problems, one size fits all curriculum and a curriculum that due to PC, everyone making everything about race, has removed the classics, very important for teaching, the sheer monster of bureaucracy that contorts to fit narratives and get funds, so that much of the discipline is gone.  The Bill of Rights is another thing that we have thrown in the trash and made Political Correctness has taken over, so there is no ability to discourse to debate with vigor, to agree to disagree.  There is an attack on the Bill of Rights, on We the People being a militia not to go to war, but to be empowered against harm. Once you start taking away the Bill of Rights even within education, take away Freedom of Speech, the ability to disagree, to debate, go through critical thinking and research, to understand that we don’t have to agree, we just have to have the accurate facts in front of us and we can then debate all that, in the end agree to disagree.  When education is just about testing, information, indoctrination of leftist activists, even to rewrite history, destroy faith, the whole culture of faith, our foundations, the destruction has begun and so unless we start really debating, discussing, all the facts made available, no lies by the media or academia, not trying to rewrite history or impose on students your views, unless we have a radical overhaul, even take the public out of education, we are in serious demise here.  Education cannot just be about facts and information, those things have to be a springboard to a much deeper learning and creating honorable citizens.  May those days of yore return and may we also honor that Bill of Rights, including freedom of religious expression (healthy parameters, no violence please), we don’t have a democratic republic.

God help us, truly help us because we will need it.