What Do You Do With…?

Holy Ghost

As I was realizing that the Festival of San Gennaro was right around the corner and I had done all I could to coordinate things,  all I could, to get things moving as quickly and efficiently as possible, but was not getting as far as I should, things not moving as they should suddenly I was taken back in time.  

I was reminded of the movie The Sound of Music and when she is walking down the aisle to get married, the nuns start singing “What do you do with a problem like Maria?”  The song goes on to say that there’s many a thing you ought to tell her, many of thing she out to know, implied that she just doesn’t get stuff she ought to get.  Again it asks what to do with a problem like Maria.  The nuns had to acknowledge that you can’t really do much.  There are those who will never be focused, never be like a laser beam with their ideas, quick to action when action is what is needed.  There are maybe lots like Maria out there, who ought to get it, from how to treat friends and colleagues etc.., to how to be timely in their actions, reactions, have a sense of things, but don’t.  Often as a result projects that we may have been really hopeful about, had lots of enthusiasm about in the beginning, that can get crushed when you feel you are dealing with a Maria, male or female, that type of situation, person.  This birthday could have been one with a few smiles for me, but frustration from feeling like a lone ranger in getting things off the ground, moving etc.. take away the smiles this birthday.  Add on top of that the fibromyalgia acting up, and my frustration with this Pope, the “social justice, PC” confusion he has created, other factors and not feeling very smiley.  I realize also that I view Catholicism really more as a culture aspect, an aspect of heritage.  My true Christian soul is perhaps more in line, tune with let’s say the Neighborhood Church of the West Village, that Protestant, Congregational type of Christianity, a strong sense of the church being the one to foster the arts.   I guess my conflict or so called conflict, which I thought was about Jesus and who he was is more of one within my framework of faith as a Christian, in terms of “Is my soul Catholic or Anglican Conservative.  That is really what I need to explore and I intend to, but how?

I think that seeing how I would feel, fit into someplace like the NCGV and still respect my heritage, including the Catholic faith, but really see where I feel truly authentic and myself, where I feel I can fully embrace the theology.  The exploration really is about my Christianity, what does that mean to me, how do I identify myself, in terms of being Christian.  This is going to be interesting, but necessary.   As for my role as Arts Associate at MPB church, let’s see how that goes, if we can get organized for the arts program.  Not holding my breath on that, not totally.  I hope the church survives and thrives, really do.  There has to be a lot more of everyone being proactive, efficient and organized, moving at a solid fast pace to accomplish what is to be accomplished.  We shall see, only time can tell.  One thing I do know is that the ballon of hope for great collaboration etc…has been somewhat deflated.  Who knows it might just turn around right?


Why We Hold On, Even When Drowning

Letting Go Never Easy, But Necessary

Please support this blog through paypal kawebsales@mail.com

We all have dreams and we have such high hopes for them to come true, maybe a childhood dream that we have always had.  Understandable, what nourishes.

Suddenly seems you have that chance, that opportunity to make it all a reality, and you pour heart and soul into it, sweat blood and tears to make it happen, to make it work, yet it doesn’t.  What’s going on and what do you do?  Could be that what you are offering is not what people want, are looking for, need.    Could be that the concept in general is fine, just the content is not what people want or need.  Could be God rejects what you are doing and won’t allow it to move forward for whatever reason.  Could be your motivation is not in line with what God thinks it should be. These are just some of the things that come to mind as to why projects, dreams don’t move forward, don’t bring forth fruit.  Why do we hold on to them even though they are not bearing fruit? Dreams are like our children.  The thought of letting them go, die etc… pains us, is hard to fathom, hard to do, as the song says “breaking up is hard to do” that goes for us and our dreams.  No one wants to walk away from their dream, their dream project that they implemented.  There is also pride, especially when everyone is telling you you’re spinning your wheels.  You don’t want to give in because well, human nature. You don’t want to give them that satisfaction of folding up your tent, paramount to admitting to all the nay sayers that they were accurate in their assessments.  You prefer to keep going even when deep down you might know this is not working, not what people are responding to, want or need.  You might not do anything to move on the things that are going to be embraced, might drag your feet on those. If anyone decided to go right ahead and make all that other stuff happen, not wanting to fiddle faddle, to dawdle, get a move on the things that will work, you might get darn right offended dammit that you are not being supported as you feel you ought to be.  That may not be the case at all, but you might perceive it that way.  Again, dreams are like children and you don’t want to let them go or lose them.  

What do you do with these dreams, these dreams when they come up smack against reality?  Well, you could just ignore reality,  cross your arms, ignore all all input, feel negative about the persons giving the input because they care,  see the writing on the wall as they say, follow only that dream you have, nothing else.  You could do that, to the very end, no matter what the fiscal etc.. consequences.  I myself, been there, done that, not a big fan.  You could adjust the plan to what The Holy Spirit gives you after much meditation and prayer, so it fits God’s will not yours, not easy for us humans to do, pride you see, remember we were tempted by the serpent who said we could be God like to have all knowledge.   You could just accept that the dream needs to be let of and mourn like you would for anything else that you love and you had to release, had to let go of, though it pained you.  Different people will respond differently when faced with reality of the dream not rendering fruit, once implemented.

What of those around them who may not agree with the dream being continued even as it is clearly not rendering fruit? What of those around them who are in any way affected by the financial ramifications, let’s say a musician who is paying the band out of pocket because the gigs for the past year have not produced any revenue though they have heavily invested in promotions etc..? What of his family?  What of friends who care and it hurts them to see him do this and to see all that effort?  What of the band members, those who have heart anyway, how do they feel?  If they have heart, they see no fruit being born of this, and the manager of the band, or if the manager is paying out of pocket for several months, if the band member have a heart, they have to be thinking, no, this is not right.  What do they do? Does the lead singer tell the manager, this can’t go on and risk being seen as the one who burst the manager’s bubble if the manager put the whole band together, launched the dream? If the band members tell the lead singer, will they be seen as the ones who destroyed the dream, burst the bubble, hated?  Will friendships be ruined because the caring won’t be seen, just the bubble bursting?  Tough thing when you have to let go of the dream, and even tougher when you are the one bringing reality home to the dreamer because you risk them potentially hating you for bursting the bubble of this dream.  If you care, and you consider yourself a true friend, then you need to be as honest as you can, with love and kindness, maybe using questions, a parable, like Jesus and those in the Bible did.  If in the end you are thrown out of the kingdom, disliked, at least you know you spoke from the heart.  If you are the dreamer, well only you can decide up to what point you can stay in the dream before it’s time to wake up to reality, even if that reality is not one you like.

This is what the Holy Spirit promoted me to write for my blog today.



Supportive Yet Protective, Tricky?

Letting Go Never Easy, But Necessary

Support this blog via paypal please: kawebsales@mail.com  Thank You.

You care, you want to be supportive, but you also feel protective of the person, the entity perhaps you are a member of and those you interact with within the entity.  You want to be supportive, but you may also have a protective side, especially if you are an empath and intuitive etc… by nature who sees with the spirit guided by what the Spirit gives you.

When one of persons there is spinning their wheels to perhaps exhaustion trying to make an idea work that you know is not meant to be, sense they might be stuck in the past even with their personal life, and you sense this very clearly or even see any of this unfold right before your eyes, it’s tricky.  If you simply tear down their dream, then you risk their resenting you for being a downer and all that.  If on the other hand you play pollyanna and all is well, just smile and pretend all is bright and beautiful, you are not being much of a true friend. You are on a scale trying to keep the scale from tipping either where you are too harsh and totally make them feel crushed and like you have no faith in them, which you might, just not in a particular idea or project, or where you present a pollyanna unrealistic this is going to be great, all working out peachy, keep spinning your wheels, no biggie.  Neither will serve anyone well.  What do you do? For one if you are dealing with a professional situation, do your homework, so if you are going to give advice, you are giving it based on solid research and feedback maybe even that others have given on what has been going on.  When you present any advice, even to a friend make it clear you support their dreams, their efforts to achieve a goal, but you are concerned about the spinning of their wheels, how that energy could be focused elsewhere.  Anything regarding a personal nature, not moving on, returning to the past, maybe find a song that talks about leaving the past in the past and why it should stay there if they are artistically inclined. Letting them know you understand nostalgia can be powerful, but there is a reason people are not part of our lives, why we are apart, not truly connected anymore to others, best to move forward, not back, especially if that connection etc.. was toxic in any way.

We might know in our heart, spirit and soul that what the Holy Spirit has given us is what ought to be, a vision after God’s own heart that should be implemented, but others may not see that same vision, and may be spinning their wheels, banging their heads against the wall doing stuff that is not workable and not part of God’s great commission or even remotely part of his plan for the group, the person, the organization, but if we are going to get that vision across we can’t do it with the scale out of balance in either direction.  Meditate, research, meditate on Scripture, and mediate some more.  You will know how to approach things, even if not everyone will appreciate your efforts to do things right, the heavens will.   Hope this helps in your journey through life and relationships.


Palm Sunday Into Easter, Anything To Glean?

Life and Liberty, God Bless America

The light shines within., going out in connection to the Divine Creator.

We had the Garden where Jesus was shown what was coming and the agony he went through, the struggle within, momentary hesitation, but then accepting to willingly give his life so we could have life.  

He knew ultimately the outcome would be glorious, and he would be seated at the right hand of the Father, all the governance of the world upon him, the ultimate CEO.  Talk about inheriting the family business, one heck of a load to inherit. He starts off with Palm Sunday, riding on the donkey, glorious, pretty great start to the CEO’s entry into the fray, but then it takes a harsh turn, soon you have false testimony against him, abandonment by those closest to him, except for mom and John, even Peter denies him three times, they wager on his clothes, mock him every which way to Sunday as they say, it’s brutal beyond words, going from that glorious donkey ride into town, palms laid out for you, waved for you, to that.  Remember a glorious resurrection and ascension is coming, but it was not going happen without a lot of sweat, blood and tears, hiccups and all that jazz.  Some might say that he saw what was coming, so should have prepared him, well, a weather person can give you all the visuals of a storm, earthquake etc… try and prepare you they want, but when that earthquake hits, that devastating storm hits, still hell.  We can see all the red flags etc.. that something is coming our way, but until it hits, we may not move out of the way, know what I mean.   As for Christ, his gift, for it to be appreciated and truly paid attention to it couldn’t come on a breeze, a wing and a prayer, too easy.  It took a lot of of prayer, wrestling, struggling within, all of that stuff to get from Palms to Resurrection and Ascension.  However, he had a clear goal, set goal and he did not waiver, it was singular, very clear, solid and he though he had perhaps moments of fear, he never let that fear overtake him.  Granted he was the Christ, the Word Made Flesh, Son Of God, but in his human incarnation he had all the anxieties etc.. any human has when faced with crap, abandonment when you most need people to be there.  Again, he was unique, had a unique mission as the Word Made Flesh, but he still was human in that incarnation and had human emotions, anxieties, fears.  The point is, more than one and here they are.

  • Vision, Goals and Focus Matter, Crucial, Critical!!!
  • Get one, Set them, Get focused, Move Your Tukkus!!
  • There will be crap along the way, even people who don’t have it together, clueless as to the need for Vision, Goals, Focus
  • Life Happens, constructively deal with it
  • God will help, but likely you have the tools etc.. if you Get One, Set Them, Get Focused, like yesterday!
  • Never let fear rule anything, you rule it always, never the other way around
  • Know that there is resurrection, redemption, even if you mess up along the way
  • Main thing is prayerfully determine Vision, Goals, Focus and move on it, them, focus, laser sharp
  • Remember butterflies that flutter here there everywhere are lovely for nature, not for succeeding in life or in love either for that matter

You thought the Bible was a boring book? Says who?

Recognizing Profound Connection/Inspiration


In life we will encounter different energies and connections, some are “lust”, some are intellectual, some are creative, some are well a beautiful combination of magnetic pull, spirit connection and also psychic consciousness connection, very deep and profound.  

When such a connection comes into your life and if you are artistically inclined, well, it can open you up to a lot, and it can be a catalyst, which a particular connection such as this was for me.  It somehow gave served as an override, a total sudden, raw override for any fears, for any red lights, anything that might keep me from moving forward with any opportunities I wanted to grab hold of artistically.  That was a major first step, that sense of determination to make my dreams come true and whenever I was going to give up, I remember him telling me never to give up on my dreams, and the amazing energy whenever I attended any of his performances,  the great stuff that came out of this link, this connection on all these levels poem and song wise.  I just got back on track with my spiritual truth and my artistic path.   Today, when The Harry Fox Agency sent me notice that hey were licensing, one of their clients was licensing my works for several projects, this person came to mind and I was so grateful that God had placed them in my path.  Their telling me never to give up on my dreams and our connection has made a big difference.  Then I had a decision to make.  Did I do what my spirit, the depth of my soul, my artist heart was telling me to do, acknowledge that and thank them, also extend in friendship what my instincts were telling me they need, exactly that, and verbally, not assuming they know it’s available, my friendship, that shoulder, those ears to listen, that creative collaboration, all of it?  Did I go with my instincts that it was okay to do that and not come across in any way negative?  Who knows if it would not come across as too brazen or something like that?  Then I decided, no, have the courage to do what you instinct is telling you to do.  Acknowledge that they inspired and offer the friendship, so I have done just that.  What they do with that friendship offered with all sincerity is up to them.  I am grateful for the inspiration they provide and the psychic conciseness connection that gives me a window into their heart, spirit and soul and to put that into poetry, song, so beautifully.

Namaste, Shalom and Amen

Can’t “Fix” Society, Only Self


Inspiration Peace and Love


As I watch the circus that is politics and activism with marches and violence, the snowflakes and UC Berkley etc.., even the Pope with his encyclical, everyone trying to figure out how they are going to fix society, and as I recall how I have spent years trying to figure out what group I could belong to or work with including what faith I could belong to, in order to fix the world I realize it’s stupidity, this notion of “fixing” society, of “fixing” others.

What do we do, well look in the mirror.  Jesus said to work on taking the plank out of our own eye.  and Ayan Rand had a philosophy, which okay some felt was extreme, but to an extent she had a point, that one should focus on one’s own well being and that if each person did that then it would be almost like a domino effect.  In a sense she is right.  Jesus is also right that we should really take care of getting our house in order above all else, and once our house is in order and as we get our house in order we can be an example to others on how an house, a life etc.. can be gotten in order.  Does that mean everything works out honky dory, every marriage gets reconciled etc.., no.  It does mean that we work out our demons, and we do so without self destruct or destruction of others.  It means we make the journey in a way that doesn’t leave a lot of debris, if any in the process.  Most of our “issues” comes from wrong thinking, and from not properly teaching people how to fish, or providing alternative ponds to fish in when one pond dries up for them, and instead giving fish.  It comes from lousy patterns that come out of erroneous thinking.  Academia is in part to blame as they do not teach true critical thinking, open debate etc…, nor do they teach heart, body, mind connection of living and decision making, action and consequence.  Religious institutions have become for example political activist centers rather than spiritual centers, which really has screwed things up.  Political center of the nation had become hostile to the very cherished foundation of faith that helped create this nation and the very cherished freedom of religion our founders felt very strongly about.  Granted there is a lot in society that can be much improved, but social justice activism, division and hatred is not going to fix anything, neither really is legislation.  None of that is really going to change anything in any place in the world, especially not the Muslim world.

The only way anything is going to change is by individuals changing and as each individual changes, that person’s patterns and thinking changes long term.  I think this is why I am drawn to authentic Kabbalah and Jewish Science because it focuses on patterns, on one’s way of thinking and relating to God, self etc.. and once that changes then life can change.  Long term, real human change wont come from politics or theology.  It has to go a lot deeper and much more personal that one person at a time for things in society to change for the better, including national sovereignty to be respected.

Namaste, Shalom and Amen



Why Friendship, Creative First?

mourning us

I find that being an empath, an intuitive while having certain perks also has frustrations.  I see that in particular with people and connections.

As an empath etc… one can sense and feel what a particular connection feels, that they want to be in your life, want me to be in theirs in some way, but they are not sure what you want, maybe all you want is a professional piggy back, which if you are an artist etc…of integrity you don’t.  However, I personally feel that friendship and collaborative efforts whether for charity or even creative purposes are very good foundations for people to build long term connections on, whether it stays friendship or then goes beyond, that can only be known by exploring the connection fully.  Also if the person has recently existed a long term and I mean long term union, as I sense is the case here, then you want to make sure they have the chance to really heal, and you want to make sure that what you are not taking advantage of any vulnerable point in their life or person.  For that reason also you want to perhaps meditate on them logistically doing whatever is necessary to make changes to their life for their greater good, wellness etc…and as is best suited to building a deep and lasting friendship, bond work together on creative and even charitable projects.  That will also show how well you can both synchronize, negotiate with each other, be in compliment and synergy, so these professional and charitable collaborations if the person can bring you on board, has the courage to, especially if the ball really is in their court, can be a solid way to come together, build a relationship, strengthen the connection etc…  Like I said it could be that it stays at the friendship level or moves beyond, but there is only one way to ind out and that is to take the bull by the horns and start some kind of collaboration, unity on some level to see how the synergy is with the two of you.  It may be that you can make it happen, but if you can’t directly, meditate, pray that they do somehow find the courage, the guts to do so, and chart a whole new course to go with their new life.  If it does go beyond friendship awesome, and if it doesn’t be grateful still and cherish it, nurture it, honor it, protect it, let it be a shinning star like no other in your life, that particular friendship with that person you have a deep psychic bond to.  It will still be an amazing gift.  

Remember also that you can only reach out and let people know your arms are open and so is you life to let them in, the rest is up to them, if they choose not to enter your arms, life etc… even as friends actively in your life day to day, spending time learning, whatever it is that will grow that friendship, well you have to decide when you feel you have had enough of reaching out and meditating on the friendship blossoming and walk away.