Together, But Apart, Ultimate …..


Together bound by a promise made long ago and a document, together, but not together, hmmm? Ultimate huh, WTH?

It seems there is something called together but apart and “marriages” settle into that or maybe were that from beginning and didn’t realize it.  Marriage is supposed to be God anointed where he brings two true soulmates together who will share a given path for a lifetime, who will nurture that given same path, same goals and destination together, who bring out the best in each other, challenge each other to grow and though they do grow, they do so together, sharing a path, goals, hopes, dreams, inspire each other, are in a sense the other’s biggest cheerleader and muse, after Christ of course if one is Christian or has a Christ centered, Christ Consciousness centered life.   You get my drift, right?  How can that be this together but apart, not anointed of God? If the marriage was formed very young not out of true love anointed, but out of obligation due to pregnancy, or out of convenience, family pressure, any number of reasons other than true anointing and if the union was never nurtured later on, if neither partner appreciated the gifts of the other, interests of the other, then parallel ives developed, the bond basically all but died.  What you end up with are two people who share a history of children perhaps, a space shared, some memories, a number of them for the sake of the kids and the family, put up a good front, but in essence two strangers in the night. Together but separate.  Some might decide they can settle for that, just shut down the heart, spirit and soul, keep busy busy busy, honeybee, loads of friends, activities, and pretend all is fine with the world, live in their own world of DeNile. They would say it works for them, living in their own little bubble, their own little world and the other person in theirs, but what does that say about one’s self esteem?  Is not marriage about sharing a path, a journey etc.. with someone who makes you a better person, who encourages?  If you are having to shut down your heart, have a busy life just so you don’t have to think of the void this “relationship” or lack of is providing, then how is that a good thing? How is that healthy for you or the other person?  No one wants to see the ending of a union, but the operative word here is union.  If there is none present and there has not been one for the longest while and both have shut down their heart, spirit soul, have a bunch of superficial connections, are busy for busy sake so as to not face the reality of their inner demons, pain etc…, how is that any good to anyone?  How is together but separate good for anyone?  How is your life with your friends and even your faith life being more nourishing etc.. than your life with your ‘spouse” a marriage?  These are important questions to ask and only you have the answers, but they are important questions that should be asked.  As to the answer, well better to have loved, and lost, both moved on to a true union than never to have loved at all if that ends up being the final answer.  Whatever the answer, make sure it is a truly constructive one long term for the greater happiness, fulfillment etc.. of both parties.