Unhealthy Boundaries 3 and 4

Bouundary Signs

Instagram and people in my sphere, I’ve noticed have boundary issues.  They seem to have a problem, some of them, with understanding boundaries, personal space and all that, stay out of my personal physical space, and hands to yourself buddy boy.  Instagram, I’ve had guys request to follow me and immediately ask about my personal life, some immediately got really personal really fast, not okay.  Others started immediately, or almost immediately declaring their love, and being very insistent about it, even sending videos.  Of course, it’s hogwash.  You don’t fall madly in love with someone not really just by seeing a photo or a video they posted on Instagram.  Insisting on knowing about my family, intimate details about my life from the get-go when you don’t know me is crossing into my personal space way too fast.  It’s important to notice, be aware of what one’s boundaries are online, what is permissible, what is out of bounds?  That needs to be clear in you from the get-go, so you can make it clear to those you interact with online.  What about offline?  Even offline, even people you know, who are adults and should know better can cross boundaries, not seem to grasp the personal space thing and really invade your personal space, so a hug that is too tight, that lingers too long, hands accidentally going to where they shouldn’t, a comment that is not really appropriate, especially if the person is close to the family, things like that and it may not initially seem like anything to start a war over, and sometimes one can just deal with it by a stern word or two directly to the person.  Again, one needs to be clear on personal space, personal boundaries, your body, personal space are your temple.  What about time? Time is another precious gift we are given by the creator and people need to respect other people’s time, so constantly showing up at the office, at one’s home unannounced is lack of respect, but often people don’t realize it.  Monopolizing a person’s time, that’s not very respectful.  Are we being aware of how we spend time, how we value not only our time but that of others?  We should be.  Awareness is key, we need to be aware of boundaries in terms of personal space, of respect for the body, of time, all very important.  If we are not aware of and have clear boundaries, then we cannot protect those boundaries.  Establishing is the first step and I hope with the new year we all establish very clear boundaries.

Namaste, Shalom and Amen