Until I Learned..

We bemoan the trials and tribulations of life and yes they are by no means a fun ride, far from it and some feel like one is living through a personal hell.  Last night the pain from my endometriosis was pretty bad, wy whole lower body and back hurt like heck, and at certain moments I could barely catch my breath.  I won’t be getting surgery to alleviate the pain and other associated issues until July 19th, so I can look forward to more nights like this, keeping me up till 6 am or later in pain.  What happens if you don’t have faith? You see only the pain, nothing else and it can be very difficult to accept it day in and day out.  That is one aspect of faith, one dimension of faith, faith in a Higher Power, Prayer, Meditation and the ability to find peace, calm in the Spiritual, which is important, to be able to move through it.  

There’s another aspect, trust and interconnection.  When you don’t learn to trust in life, you can never learn to connect, truly connect, and have that give and take that makes life what it is in relationships.  If life is always grand and wonderful and you or I never need anyone and no one ever needs us, think about it, what would life be like?  There is a song “Desperato” and I think it captures the essence of this quite well as does this poem.  My childhood gave me reason not to trust because the rug was taken out from under me when my dad whom a adored left one morning and never came back, then the divorce I was the one in the tug of war used as a weapon one side against the other, so faith and seeing how I would receive discernment, when I was willing to actually listen, which sadly was not as often as I should have, including to what I was given through my dreams, showed me there was a Creator I could trust and rely on.  I remember a few instances where I was really having a rough health patch and prayer brought about instant relief and I mean instant so I was able to go to sleep, didn’t happen often, only a few times in my life, but still, it was a gift.  I have also come to realize that needing each other, sharing through trials an tribulations is as important or more so than in good times.  They say in a crisis you truly know who your friends are and often that is true.  Your friends will stick with you, but they will also tell you the truth, even if you don’t want to hear it, even if you get made and for a while don’t speak to them.  They will still be there when you come back, after you get over it.  God created seasons and light, dark, day, night as a metaphor for life and that contrast that is needed for human interaction until we can spiritually etc.. evolve to get past the Ego, really past it, though I think that is a very long way off.  Until then, it is the trials and tribulations that teach us to trust others with so much of our heart, spirit, soul etc.. and build relationships on levels and in ways that if we only had good times and everything was a bowl of cherries all the time, we might not.  Maybe rather than curse the darkness, maybe we need to see how it can be turned into a candle that brings light to our lives and that of others.  Something to ponder.