I Compose, Share, Think, Write, Therefore I am
The human body requires oxygen and water to survive long term, without them, we wither and die. They are two core and essential elements that nurture us. Human affection is another, and science tells us that babies who don’t receive hugs and physical warmth will die, so we also require that affection from others. That’s an overall human thing. For me there is also another component that is equal to these that defines me and is core to who I am as a human being.
My mom says I began efforts to speak and express myself at around a year old, walking quite a bit later, not so interested in that, but speaking and always looking to the sky fascinated, yup. Drawing, loved to draw, do connect the dots coloring books, puzzles, putting those pieces together, that was my thing, along with communicating as much as I could and looking to the sky. It dawns on me now that it was a prelude of and a clear indication of who I was at the core, of my very essence as a person. This love of communication, of anything artistic, putting pieces together, spirituality, instinct and intuition, sharing, as I would always give away my toys and it drove mom nuts was always a part of me. Though I have to confess, I abhor getting unsolicited calls from any organization and emails asking for money and I will yell at them if they call and hang up. If I could sue all NFP for harassment for sharing people’s info with other NFP etc… I would. If I am going to share I will decide how, when where and with whom. For me the arts and social media is how I love to share, and if I am in a friendship and/or relationship, the arts also and social media, as I share feelings etc… and my life has now become through the arts and my blog etc.. an open book and will continue to be so pretty much. It is the nature of me and in a sweet, but with a whole lot of sassy to go with it.
Not everyone is comfortable with this, even my mom isn’t totally comfortable with having a daughter who is so open heart, spirit, soul and artistically sharing all her feelings etc… and her views on everything in the world, and people. She’s not the one living my life as much I love her, no one is, only me. I have to be as authentic to my true self as I can and I also have to let go of everything toxic from the past, and embrace a beautiful and potentially brilliant future which, with the help of Elohim, I am creating. There are things I have let go of in terms of just leaving it up to Elohim where it goes from here, not walked away from, but that still require closure and resolution. I have basically decided to live my life, focus on the arts and let certain things go and let Elohim deal with them and their closure or resolution, whatever the case. There are loves I will carry forever in my heart, spirit and soul, that will always have a special place whatever the outcome, but I have to leave it alone and let Elohim take care of it. I am totally at peace with it. I am totally at peace with that decision of letting go, really letting go, and of who I am and fully being that, along with standing staunchly by Israel unconditionally.
Shalom and Amen