I could be sad about the ideas being dismissed, and my talents, but that’s not what makes me sad the most.
What makes me sad the most is that what I have shared, what I share comes from Spirit, come very spontaneously as an artist, and in general, even in extending my friendship. I am very open about my meditating daily, my faith, and asking God to be an open vessel, wearing my heart on my sleeve. I guess what makes me sad the most is that when my work and my ideas in ministry, in the arts are dismissed, it is like dismissing the Holy Spirit. It’s hurtful to me and makes me sad that those in the faith community, seemingly so much of faith and in the faith community would dismiss these ideas, these gifts, would push them to the side. There was so much potential and I had hopes for wonderful things to happen and blossom, but a person’s own doubts and lack of courage have conspired to push aside that which the Holy Spirit shared and put forth. That always makes me sad and I find it hurtful when what the Spirit gives is pushed aside, dismissed etc.. Perhaps it is because I have done so and wish I had not. As I face the sadness what the Holy Spirit has shared being shoved aside, ignored and my own talents as well, I have to find a different path to get to where the Holy Spirit wishes me to be, for my talents to be put to use, my artistic and creative talents, even my material. All I can do is work on pushing past the sad and hope that there are those who can see the work of the Spirit in what I do, create, produce and put forth, ideas included and embrace that with gusto.
I could just forget all about it, sulk all that, but would God really be pleased? No, he would not. I have shared what the Holy Spirit has given me to share with whom I felt it needed to be shared. I can’t force anyone to adhere to what the Holy Spirit wishes to be done. Since it seems that others are not going to be paying attention to the Holy Spirit, are not going to take charge of anything, are going to leave things to others to decide etc…, dot get it on different levels, I refuse to keep banging my head against the proverbial wall. It’s just too frustrating, annoying etc…, so what do I do about things? As much as I would like to help save something, like I sad I am not going to keep sharing what is given to me by the HS and have it tossed aside by butterflies and honeybees who are all over the map, all over the lace, a million different activities etc.., not focused. I am going to focus my time on my own projects, ministry through my own projects. I am going to focus on just writing and recording, getting my music, projects out to DJ’s, radio, here on my blog and hope for your support in following the blogs and hopefully if you find it in your heart financial support for either of these blogs, this one or my kaartist blog. All I can do now is focus on my own projects, get my stuff out there and work on ministry through my own works. All the rest, well, God is going to have to find some other way to get the message across because I have tried all I can to do so. Not willing to keep banging my head against the wall.