What My Childhood Taught Me

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Replace the He with She, and that is what I gained, learned from the mess of my parent’s divorce and being used as a chess piece by both sides.  I know my mom loved me, but she in different ways would also give me this message of “nothing lasts forever”.  What I did was create a life of constant temporaries, of constant flux, which in turn wreaked emotional havoc on me and destroyed my well being.  This even created instability in my faith life, made it hard for me to commit to any particular faith path, even within the Christian faith.  When as a child you get the subliminal message and then reinforced message in different ways that nothing lasts forever, nothing can, even faith is hard to sustain on a deep level, even connection with God is hard to sustain on a deep level.  Now 50 something I find myself as the poem says wishing I had something, something more long term in my vocational path, a companion that I had built lasting memories with.  I wish I had not been given a message of nothing last forever, but that there are things that can last with intention, faith and right investment emotionally etc.. put forward.  I wish I had been given that balance, taught that because I think I would have gone less in circles.  Please remember that the phrase “Nothing lasts forever”, not really true.  WIth right nurturing etc.., solid deep faith and spiritual life can last forever, healthy relationships can last a good long time.  With marriage for example, even if the marriage ends, the relationship can still be one of friendship, caring and good will towards the other, if the intent and nurturing of it is there.  Our spiritual body also is every lasting as Scripture tells us, so there are things that last forever. Take heart and never let that be what defines and drives your life, or you could end up going in circles, too many circles for too long.